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Local

Local 

Smarty Pants First Grader’s Favorite Color “Clear”

March 20, 2019 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte VERMONT AVENUE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL — While most of Ms. Lori Miller’s first grade students spent Tuesday coloring

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Local 

Catholic Church Realizes That’s Not What “Women and Children First” Means

March 6, 2019 Sydney Sanchez

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sydney Sanchez VATICAN CITY­­– Over the past week, the Catholic Church came to the startling realization that the code

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Local 

Gogurt Twitter Account Begging for Sweet, Sweet Release of Death

March 4, 2019March 4, 2019 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks Users of Twitter were alarmed on Tuesday when they woke up to posts from the popular yogurt

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Entertainment Local 

Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend

February 15, 2019June 19, 2020 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – Yesterday, couples across the country celebrated their love with flowers, dinners, and meaningful

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Local News in Brief 

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless

February 11, 2019January 23, 2021 Susi Basse

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Susi Basse CHICAGO, IL — When Alfie Garrett, a homeless Vietnam vet in Chicago, Illinois, woke up this morning

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Local 

Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected

February 7, 2019 Eloise Rollins-Fife

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Eloise Rollins-Fife LOS ANGELES, CA — In a completely predictable turn of events, social media posts confirmed this weekend

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Local 

Best Friend From High School Clearly Lying About Getting Laid in College

January 28, 2019 Alex Greenblatt

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alex Greenblatt NEW YORK CITY – The Sack confirmed last Thursday that Rob Broux’s best friend from high school,

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College Local 

Surplus of Spring Admits to be Housed in Forested Wolf Dens

January 7, 2019January 23, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan GRIFFITH PARK, CA — Due to a lack of available freshman housing space, some students admitted for

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Local 

Baby Jesus Sees Shadow, Won’t Be Crucified for Another Four Months

December 25, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann BETHLEHEM– For the third year in a row, the newborn Jesus Christ has seen his shadow and

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Local 

Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up

December 10, 2018December 10, 2018 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s going to be a chilly winter for one local man whose recent

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Recent Posts

  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

Article Roulette

Wow! This Vintage Reseller Can Go Fuck Themself!

Wow! This Vintage Reseller Can Go Fuck Themself!

April 6, 2021 Mia Young No Comment

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