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Editorial

Editorial 

Opinion: Jesus is One of Those “Birth Week Girls”

December 23, 2022December 22, 2022 Scott Altsuler 108 Views

By Scott Altsuler We all know that one person that takes their birthday and celebrates the whole week, and I

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Editorial 

Kinder Egg to Release Adult Toy Collection: “Try Choking on This!”

October 4, 2022October 3, 2022 Levi Elias 195 Views

By Levi Elias CONCORD, CA – After a long absence, the Kinder Surprise is finally making its big return to

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Editorial 

Sack Advice

September 27, 2022September 27, 2022 Staff 151 Views
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Editorial 

Top 10 GILFS Who Died Before I Got The Chance

September 13, 2022October 20, 2022 Staff 367 Views

By Staff Queen Elizabeth of England died at age 96 last week, and it’s times like these when I wonder

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College Editorial 

Opinion: Why Did I Come To This Euphoria Party If You Won’t Let Me Take Fentanyl?

April 5, 2022April 5, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 751 Views

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Freshman Taylor Howard was disappointed to discover that despite the epic Euphoria-themed party,

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Editorial News in Brief USC 

Opinion: Fine! I Will Have Sex in the Doheny Book Stacks Instead!

December 29, 2021December 29, 2021 Maura Ende 1977 Views

By Maura Ende “Ever since the no guest thing happened it’s been really hard to find places where you can,

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Editorial Entertainment 

5 Hallmark Movies That Will Make You Want to Kill Yourself This Holiday Season

December 24, 2021December 24, 2021 Charlotte Phillipp 548 Views

By Charlotte Phillipp  Nothing makes us feel more festive than a heartwarming TV movie during the holiday season, and the

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Attention Vortex Editorial 

8 Normalized Things We Need To Start Sexualizing

December 14, 2021December 14, 2021 Finn Kobler 4245 Views

By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be

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Columns Editorial Politics Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: Biden Won… So Why Am I Still Depressed?

December 11, 2020December 9, 2020 Alexandra Ornes 900 Views

By Alexandra Ornes SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With Biden’s official win of the electoral college it is guaranteed he will

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Editorial Politics 

The Sack of Troy Endorses Wallace Shawn For President

November 4, 2020January 21, 2021 Staff 815 Views

After heavy deliberation, The Sack of Troy Editorial Board has concluded that we believe beloved socialist Wallace Shawn is the

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Recent Posts

  • Study Finds That Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations For Pizza Deliveries
  • “The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo
  • Fraternity slammed for Insensitive Party Themed ‘Guns Shots or Fireworks’
  • McDonald’s Adult Happy Meals Reflect 1980’s Nostalgia with Mini Collapsing Berlin Wall Toy
  • Exeter Frat Boy Rates Women By Amount of AP Classes Taken

Article Roulette

Ben Isaacson, Actor Who Played Death Star, Dead at 78

April 15, 2016 Rob Smat No Comment

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