Editorial
Top 10 GILFS Who Died Before I Got The Chance
By Jack Martino Queen Elizabeth of England died at age 96 last week, and it’s times like these when I
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Opinion: Why Did I Come To This Euphoria Party If You Won’t Let Me Take Fentanyl?
By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Freshman Taylor Howard was disappointed to discover that despite the epic Euphoria-themed party,
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Opinion: Fine! I Will Have Sex in the Doheny Book Stacks Instead!
By Maura Ende “Ever since the no guest thing happened it’s been really hard to find places where you can,
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5 Hallmark Movies That Will Make You Want to Kill Yourself This Holiday Season
By Charlotte Phillipp Nothing makes us feel more festive than a heartwarming TV movie during the holiday season, and the
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8 Normalized Things We Need To Start Sexualizing
By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be
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Op-Ed: Biden Won… So Why Am I Still Depressed?
By Alexandra Ornes SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With Biden’s official win of the electoral college it is guaranteed he will
Read moreThe Sack of Troy Endorses Wallace Shawn For President
After heavy deliberation, The Sack of Troy Editorial Board has concluded that we believe beloved socialist Wallace Shawn is the
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Op-Ed: Halloween or Not I’m Tryna Get Piped by Jack Skellington
LOS ANGELES, CA – Once again, spooky season has returned, giving me the perfect opportunity to finally come clean to
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I Can’t Believe Bars and Clubs Are Closed While I’m in My Sexual Prime!
By Baby Nut CHICAGO, IL — Earlier this year the Planters mascot Mr. Peanut died in a horrible car crash
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