Opinion: Jesus is One of Those “Birth Week Girls”

By Scott Altsuler We all know that one person that takes their birthday and celebrates the whole week, and I

Kinder Egg to Release Adult Toy Collection: “Try Choking on This!”

By Levi Elias CONCORD, CA – After a long absence, the Kinder Surprise is finally making its big return to

By Staff Queen Elizabeth of England died at age 96 last week, and it’s times like these when I wonder

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Freshman Taylor Howard was disappointed to discover that despite the epic Euphoria-themed party,

By Maura Ende “Ever since the no guest thing happened it’s been really hard to find places where you can,

By Charlotte Phillipp Nothing makes us feel more festive than a heartwarming TV movie during the holiday season, and the

By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be

By Alexandra Ornes SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With Biden’s official win of the electoral college it is guaranteed he will

After heavy deliberation, The Sack of Troy Editorial Board has concluded that we believe beloved socialist Wallace Shawn is the