College – The Sack of Troy

Flailing Alumni Account Forced to Post Derrick

By Margaret Danenhauer THE GEORGE LUCAS DERRICK BUILDING – After realizing that all SCA grads are chopped and also unc,

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA — After many years of shitty stellar technological service to the USC community, OASIS

By Noelle Medina UNIVERSITY PARK – These hoes ain’t loyal! Sly, manipulative and greedy fuck Bobby Doubletrouble reportedly registered for

By Alex Choy U.S.S.R.L.G.B.T.Q.I.A, RUSSIA – In order to weed out the commie, leftist, WOKE scum of the Earth students

By Jackson Sneeringer LOS ANGELES — It’s a bad day for all college nic addicts: the New York City squirrels

By Margaret Danenhauer THE GEORGE LUCAS DERRICK BUILDING – After realizing that all SCA grads are chopped and also unc,

By Margaret Danenhauer LOS ANGELES – Theatre majors across USC have reportedly been telling fellow students that they have midterms

By Alex Choy THE INTERNET – In order to stave off bankruptcy, the University of Spoiled Children will be adding

By Gracie Silberman LOS ANGELES – Student Zoey Matrimony entered her first School of Cinematic Arts class to her professor,

By Alex Choy LOS ANGELES MEMORIAL COLISEUM – Who’s hungry? Traveler is! For human flesh. USC’s beloved mascot has partnered