Progressive Fountains of Wayne Member Liked Stacy’s Mom For Her Personality
by Finn Kobler 2000’s one-hit-wonder band Fountains of Wayne is re-circulating the pop stratosphere after drummer Brian Young spoke about Read more
Author: Staff
Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate
by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have Read more
Local Man Disappointed He Gave Away Good Edibles to Lightweight Trick or Treaters
by Finn Kobler FLAGSTAFF, AZ – Outrage percolated around 23-year-old Gabriel Boulton this Halloween after he received multiple complaints from Read more
Sam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM
by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie Read more
SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks
by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name Read more
Mars Rover Told There Would Be Other Rovers When It Got There
by Keith Herrmann MARS – A lonesome NASA rover sent to collect evidence of ancient life on Mars was falsely informed that Read more
Grocery Bagger Shamefully Returns to Double Life as Actor on Shitty Sitcom
by Keith Herrmann BURBANK, CA – Tim Brewer, 34, embarrassedly clocked out of his well-paying gig as a grocery bagger Read more
Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
by Dan Toomey With a shocking change of character, the once-cuddly, beloved EVKitty is now intimidating transfer students for meal Read more