Breaking News:
  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Sports

Sports 

Opinion: Why I, A 5’10” Unathletic Male, Am The Perfect Candidate To Replace Juju Watkins This Season

March 28, 2025March 29, 2025 Dean Woods

By Dean Woods LOS ANGELES, CA – The USC community and the nation as a whole witnessed a devastating moment

Read more
Sports 

NFL Playoffs Briefly Overshadowed By Hulking Alien Monolith Blocking the Sun

February 3, 2025February 4, 2025 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly US — In a shocking and unexpected event this weekend, NFL playoff games were briefly overshadowed by

Read more
Sports 

SC Loses After Freshman Forgets To Kick Lamppost

November 30, 2024February 4, 2025 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas LOS ANGELES, CA – As the Trojans concluded their lackluster Big 10 season with a loss to

Read more
Sports 

Rivalry Game Actually Just A Mid-Off

November 23, 2024December 2, 2024 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster PASADENA, CA — Following much anticipation for the 2024 USC V. UCLA rivalry game, both teams fought

Read more
Sports 

Scientists Offer Banging Head Against Wall as Relaxing Alternative to USC Football

October 19, 2024February 4, 2025 Liam Stephenson

By Liam Stephenson LOS ANGELES –  After USC’s loss to alleged school University of Maryland, scientists have concluded that self-inflicted

Read more
Sports USC 

USC Steps Away in 4th Quarter To Honor Yom Kippur

October 13, 2024October 15, 2024 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — This Saturday, October 12th’s highly anticipated matchup pinning USC against football juggernaut Penn

Read more
Sports USC 

Trojans Learn An Important Lesson In Friendship, Lose 24-27

October 7, 2024October 8, 2024 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Despite a heartbreaking loss, the Trojans learned an important and relatable lesson about friendship

Read more
Sports 

M&M’s Spokescandies Executed by Firing Squad at Super Bowl

February 14, 2023October 23, 2024 Julian Avrith

By Julian Avrith GLENDALE, AZ– This Super Bowl Sunday, the world famous colorful M&M’s spokescandies were executed by a firing

Read more
Sports 

Dog Tom Brady Retires After 22nd Season of Puppy Bowl

February 12, 2023February 12, 2023 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk GLEN FALLS, NY — Dog Tom Brady announced his retirement after his 22nd Puppy Bowl season with

Read more
Sports 

Duracell Marketing Emphasizes Aerodynamics of D-Batteries Ahead of Super Bowl

February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias  PHOENIX, AZ – In preparation for the Super Bowl, Duracell has shifted their marketing strategy to prioritize

Read more
  • ← Previous

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Web Reg Announces Ticketmaster Collab, GE Seats Sell for $485

Web Reg Announces Ticketmaster Collab, GE Seats Sell for $485

April 4, 2023 Izzy Ster No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.