Smarty Pants First Grader’s Favorite Color “Clear”

by Christine Politte

VERMONT AVENUE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL — While most of Ms. Lori Miller’s first grade students spent Tuesday coloring in giant crayons with their favorite shades, 7-year-old Daniel Watkins proudly finished before all of them, because his favorite color is “clear.”

While Miller tries to be supportive of all her students, including those who believe they can fly or are actually cats, she is concerned that Tuesday’s incident is part of a concerning trend for Watkins.

“Last week Daniel was insisting that his favorite fruit is the tomato, and now this,” sighed the veteran teacher. “Without prompt intervention, I’m concerned he might develop a behavioral condition known as ‘becoming a smug asshole.’”

Behavioral specialists have identified Daniel’s older brother, second-grader Christopher, as a possible source of the problem. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, the elder Watkins grinned smugly and simply responded “taller.”