USC – The Sack of Troy

OASIS Converted To DESERT

By Pablo Rodriguez After many years of shitty stellar technological service to the USC community, OASIS has been shut down.

By Noelle Medina UNIVERSITY PARK – These hoes ain’t loyal! Sly, manipulative and greedy fuck Bobby Doubletrouble reportedly registered for

By Alex Choy U.S.S.R.L.G.B.T.Q.I.A, RUSSIA – In order to weed out the commie, leftist, WOKE scum of the Earth students

By Margaret Danenhauer THE GEORGE LUCAS DERRICK BUILDING – After realizing that all SCA grads are chopped and also unc,

By Margaret Danenhauer LOS ANGELES – Theatre majors across USC have reportedly been telling fellow students that they have midterms

By Alex Choy THE INTERNET – In order to stave off bankruptcy, the University of Spoiled Children will be adding

By Alex Choy LOS ANGELES MEMORIAL COLISEUM – Who’s hungry? Traveler is! For human flesh. USC’s beloved mascot has partnered

By Jackson Parker and Noelle Medina LOS ANGELES – After abruptly canceling its California gubernatorial debate, USC announced it would

By Jada Leung LOS ANGELES – College students have shed amounts of clothing amidst this week’s heat wave, and future

By Jackson Sneeringer LOS ANGELES — Mildly traumatized pledges and students just trying to find a quiet fucking space to