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Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom

May 3, 2025May 3, 2025 Ella Grossman 69 Views

By Ella Grossman  LOS ANGELES — This Friday, the world’s first Sperm Race took place at LA Center Studio in

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USC 

Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”

May 3, 2025May 3, 2025 Phineas Kelly 61 Views

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES — As universities nationwide fear the loss of federal research funding, the University of Southern

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USC 

USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

April 23, 2025May 3, 2025 Margaret Danenhauer 81 Views

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — Fight on Trojans! USC has named Joey “The Booger” Santonelli, better known as the

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USC 

Term “DEI” Changes to “Community” to Reinforce USC’s Values as a Community College

March 27, 2025March 29, 2025 Levi Elias 354 Views

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA – In an email sent to the USC population by the Office of the

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USC 

USC Students Agree: St. Patrick’s Day On Spring Break Is A Waste of a Good Excuse to Drink

March 17, 2025March 29, 2025 Quinn Healey 101 Views

By Quinn Healey LOS ANGELES, CA/CABO SAN LUCAS, MEX – In a rare display of solidarity, the USC Interfraternity and

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USC 

Carol Folt Finally Locks The Fuck In For Final Semester

March 12, 2025March 14, 2025 Levi Elias 285 Views

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — Soon-to-be retired USC president Carol Folt just realized that she’s wasted her entire

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USC 

USC Announces Multi-Million, Top-of-the-Line, Revolutionary Program to Debut Right After You Graduate

February 20, 2025February 27, 2025 Violet Rose Wang 189 Views

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – USC administration announced this morning that they would soon be debuting an

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USC 

USC Defunds Daily Trojan to Fund Sack of Troy

December 6, 2024December 13, 2024 Violet Rose Wang 419 Views

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – In light of the Daily Trojan announcing that USC has slashed their

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Local USC 

Former Stout Burger Location Converts Into Spirit Halloween

November 1, 2024October 31, 2024 Izzy Ster 476 Views

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s that time of year again! We all finally have an excuse to

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College USC 

Girl Whose Boyfriend Makes Fun Of Her Has “Never Been Happier!”

October 21, 2024October 31, 2024 Noelle Medina 401 Views

By Noelle Medina BEVERLY HILLS, CA – A naive young girl near you has just gotten into her first committed

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

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Providence/Ehren Practiced Fairness Towards Campaign Platforms

Providence/Ehren Practiced Fairness Towards Campaign Platforms

February 18, 2015 Rob Smat No Comment

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