USC – The Sack of Troy

Flailing Alumni Account Forced to Post Derrick

By Margaret Danenhauer THE GEORGE LUCAS DERRICK BUILDING – After realizing that all SCA grads are chopped and also unc,

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA — After many years of shitty stellar technological service to the USC community, OASIS

By Noelle Medina UNIVERSITY PARK – These hoes ain’t loyal! Sly, manipulative and greedy fuck Bobby Doubletrouble reportedly registered for

By Alex Choy U.S.S.R.L.G.B.T.Q.I.A, RUSSIA – In order to weed out the commie, leftist, WOKE scum of the Earth students

By Margaret Danenhauer THE GEORGE LUCAS DERRICK BUILDING – After realizing that all SCA grads are chopped and also unc,

By Margaret Danenhauer LOS ANGELES – Theatre majors across USC have reportedly been telling fellow students that they have midterms

By Alex Choy THE INTERNET – In order to stave off bankruptcy, the University of Spoiled Children will be adding

By Alex Choy LOS ANGELES MEMORIAL COLISEUM – Who’s hungry? Traveler is! For human flesh. USC’s beloved mascot has partnered

By Jackson Parker and Noelle Medina LOS ANGELES – After abruptly canceling its California gubernatorial debate, USC announced it would

By Jada Leung LOS ANGELES – College students have shed amounts of clothing amidst this week’s heat wave, and future