Saturday, July 21, 2018
Breaking News:
  • SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t
  • Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
  • 9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name
  • Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
  • Roommate Earns Heisman for Interception of Bad Decision Named “Brad”

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • Local
  • World
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • News in Brief
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Strong Feelings
    • Dear Mom
    • Reviews
  • About
    • History
    • Members
    • Join Us!
SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t
Local 

SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t

April 26, 2018 Rachel Zubli 0
Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
Local 

Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes

April 24, 2018 Staff 0
9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name
Local 

9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name

April 20, 2018 Amanda Douglas 0
Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
Local 

Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality

April 19, 2018 Staff 0
SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t
Local 

SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t

April 26, 2018 Rachel Zubli 0
Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
Local 

Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes

April 24, 2018 Staff 0
9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name
Local 

9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name

April 20, 2018 Amanda Douglas 0
Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
Local 

Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality

April 19, 2018 Staff 0

Local

SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t
Local 

SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t

April 26, 2018 Rachel Zubli 0
by Rachel Zubli Publicizing on Snapchat that this will be his “big break,” a small-time SoundCloud rapper from your area
Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
Local 

Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes

April 24, 2018 Staff 0
9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name
Local 

9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name

April 20, 2018 Amanda Douglas 0
Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
Local 

Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality

April 19, 2018 Staff 0
Roommate Earns Heisman for Interception of Bad Decision Named “Brad”
Local 

Roommate Earns Heisman for Interception of Bad Decision Named “Brad”

April 18, 2018 Sara Linden 0

News in Brief

Robert Durst Tries Stand-Up, Kills
News in Brief 

Robert Durst Tries Stand-Up, Kills

March 6, 2018 Alex Greenblatt 0
by Alex Greenblatt COMEDY CELLAR — At a local open mic, real estate mogul, heir to the Seymore Durst, and
Poor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns
News in Brief 

Poor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns

February 5, 2018 Hannah Ceselski 0
Nikias Emerges From Cocoon of Duct Tape Following Conclusion of UCLA Rivalry Week
News in Brief 

Nikias Emerges From Cocoon of Duct Tape Following Conclusion of UCLA Rivalry Week

November 20, 2017 Staff 0
Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows
News in Brief 

Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows

November 8, 2017 Staff 0

Politics

Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life
Politics 

Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life

November 15, 2017 Nolan Jones 0
by Nolan Jones WASHINGTON-- In a press conference last Thursday, Congressman Larry Johnson (R-MN) shocked the nation by announcing that
“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees
Politics 

“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees

March 29, 2017 Staff 0
Trump and Aides Play Pin the Signature on the Executive Order
Politics 

Trump and Aides Play Pin the Signature on the Executive Order

February 1, 2017 Kim Rogers 0
Trump Announces Presidential Pet: Infertile White Tiger Named Maserati
Politics 

Trump Announces Presidential Pet: Infertile White Tiger Named Maserati

January 20, 2017 Staff 0

World

Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
World 

Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base

February 8, 2018 Staff 0
by Emily Halaka NEW YORK CITY, NY - For centuries, scientists, philosophers, and teenagers have ferociously debated what, exactly, constitutes
Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026
World 

Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026

October 9, 2017 Colin McIsaac 0
New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
World 

New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

September 15, 2017 Staff 0
“People Need to Be More Open-Minded,” Asserts Woman Who Unfriended Everyone with Different Views
World 

“People Need to Be More Open-Minded,” Asserts Woman Who Unfriended Everyone with Different Views

November 21, 2016 Staff 0

Sports

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched
Sports 

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched

February 6, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA -- When Jerry Moskowitz walked into the joint, he used to
Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football
Sports 

Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football

November 16, 2016 Staff 0
Report: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics
Sports 

Report: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics

February 9, 2016 Rob Smat 0
USC Compromises with Protesters, Promotes One Part-Time Employee to Full-Time
Sports 

USC Compromises with Protesters, Promotes One Part-Time Employee to Full-Time

December 2, 2015 Thomas Marshall 0

Videos

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!
Videos 

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!

November 17, 2017 Staff 0
Summer 2017 in Review
Videos 

Summer 2017 in Review

August 21, 2017 Hannah Ceselski 0
In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Spring Break 2017 In Review
Videos 

Spring Break 2017 In Review

March 20, 2017 Staff 0
Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus
Videos 

Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus

January 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch 0

Columns

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’

Opinion: I Miss the Drought
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss the Drought

Hey, The Student Conduct Code Doesn’t Say Anything About Two Cousins and An Earnest Mistake
Columns Strong Feelings 

Hey, The Student Conduct Code Doesn’t Say Anything About Two Cousins and An Earnest Mistake

Benny and the Sharks
Columns Comics 

Benny and the Sharks

Pottermore Quiz: Which Wrinkle on Dobby’s Face Are You?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Pottermore Quiz: Which Wrinkle on Dobby’s Face Are You?

God’s Writers’ Room Running Out of Ideas
Columns Comics 

God’s Writers’ Room Running Out of Ideas

Turkey Roasts Itself
Columns Comics 

Turkey Roasts Itself

This Paper Will Practically Write Itself Once I Get the Dweeb In Front of Me to Write It
Columns Strong Feelings 

This Paper Will Practically Write Itself Once I Get the Dweeb In Front of Me to Write It

Look Out World, I Just Got Bangs, Which Negate All My Previously Ingrained Habits and Personality Traits!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Look Out World, I Just Got Bangs, Which Negate All My Previously Ingrained Habits and Personality Traits!

That’s Not a Sexy Nurse Costume, You’re Just in the ER
Columns Strong Feelings 

That’s Not a Sexy Nurse Costume, You’re Just in the ER

Tweets for Twerps

My Tweets

Categories

  • Attention Vortex
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • TWRN
  • Uncategorized
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • SoundCloud Rapper From High School Dropping References To Hometown Like It’s Hot Sh*t
  • Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
  • 9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name
  • Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
  • Roommate Earns Heisman for Interception of Bad Decision Named “Brad”

Archives

Staff Stuff

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org

Newsletter

Popular Posts

  • Student Delays Getting Out of Bed in Hopes that Roommate’s Morning Wood Will Go Away First
    Student Delays Getting Out of Bed in Hopes that Roommate’s Morning Wood Will Go Away First
  • Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween
    Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween
  • Cool Parents Point and Laugh at Lame-Ass Virgin Son
    Cool Parents Point and Laugh at Lame-Ass Virgin Son
  • Courageous Girl Risks Her Life Peeing in Gnarly Frat House Bathroom
    Courageous Girl Risks Her Life Peeing in Gnarly Frat House Bathroom
  • Due to Typo, Porn Star Jamie XXX Performs at Springfest
    Due to Typo, Porn Star Jamie XXX Performs at Springfest

Crime Scene

Who did this? Stay tuned to find out!
Copyright © 2018 The Sack of Troy. All rights reserved.