Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Breaking News:
  • Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
  • Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up
  • Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
  • Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
  • Friend’s Kid Fat

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • Local
  • World
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • News in Brief
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Strong Feelings
    • Dear Mom
    • Reviews
  • About
    • History
    • Members
    • Join Us!
Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
Local 

Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast

December 12, 2018 Veronica Marks 0
Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up
Local 

Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up

December 10, 2018 Joey Rayburn 0
Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
Local 

Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter

December 5, 2018 Joey Rayburn 0
Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
Local 

Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into

December 4, 2018 Staff 0
Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
Local 

Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast

December 12, 2018 Veronica Marks 0
Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up
Local 

Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up

December 10, 2018 Joey Rayburn 0
Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
Local 

Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter

December 5, 2018 Joey Rayburn 0
Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
Local 

Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into

December 4, 2018 Staff 0

Local

Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
Local 

Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast

December 12, 2018 Veronica Marks 0
by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA - This morning, after college junior Matthew Fuller had already done his take-home final,
Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up
Local 

Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up

December 10, 2018 Joey Rayburn 0
Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
Local 

Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter

December 5, 2018 Joey Rayburn 0
Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
Local 

Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into

December 4, 2018 Staff 0
Friend’s Kid Fat
Local 

Friend’s Kid Fat

December 3, 2018 Christine Politte 0

News in Brief

Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry
News in Brief 

Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry

November 22, 2018 Sam Kushell 0
by Sam Kushell MICHIGAN -- For Kalamazoo’s own “Bowling Larry”, every single day since October 29, 1983 has been Turkey
Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut
News in Brief 

Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut

November 12, 2018 Staff 0
National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting
News in Brief 

National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting

November 8, 2018 Staff 0
Dish In Sink Doesn’t Care Who Washes It, Just Wants Yelling to Stop
News in Brief 

Dish In Sink Doesn’t Care Who Washes It, Just Wants Yelling to Stop

September 6, 2018 Sam Kushell 0

Politics

Mitt Romney Loses Presidential Election
Politics 

Mitt Romney Loses Presidential Election

November 7, 2018 Alex Greenblatt 0
by Alex Greenblatt WASHINGTON -- After a tense night of counting ballots, it appears that Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney has
Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life
Politics 

Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life

November 15, 2017 Nolan Jones 0
“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees
Politics 

“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees

March 29, 2017 Staff 0
Trump and Aides Play Pin the Signature on the Executive Order
Politics 

Trump and Aides Play Pin the Signature on the Executive Order

February 1, 2017 Kim Rogers 0

World

Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible
World 

Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible

September 11, 2018 Seth Woodhouse 0
by Seth Woodhouse Mission Impossible: Fallout became a critical and commercial success due to all of the extreme physical stunts that
Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
World 

Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base

February 8, 2018 Staff 0
Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026
World 

Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026

October 9, 2017 Colin McIsaac 0
New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
World 

New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

September 15, 2017 Staff 0

Sports

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched
Sports 

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched

February 6, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA -- When Jerry Moskowitz walked into the joint, he used to
Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football
Sports 

Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football

November 16, 2016 Staff 0
Report: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics
Sports 

Report: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics

February 9, 2016 Rob Smat 0
USC Compromises with Protesters, Promotes One Part-Time Employee to Full-Time
Sports 

USC Compromises with Protesters, Promotes One Part-Time Employee to Full-Time

December 2, 2015 Thomas Marshall 0

Videos

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!
Videos 

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!

November 17, 2017 Staff 0
Summer 2017 in Review
Videos 

Summer 2017 in Review

August 21, 2017 Hannah Ceselski 0
In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Spring Break 2017 In Review
Videos 

Spring Break 2017 In Review

March 20, 2017 Staff 0
Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus
Videos 

Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus

January 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch 0

Columns

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months
Columns Strong Feelings 

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!

Op-Ed: I Bet I Could Kick Neil Armstrong’s Ass Now That He’s Dead
Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: I Bet I Could Kick Neil Armstrong’s Ass Now That He’s Dead

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’

Opinion: I Miss the Drought
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss the Drought

Hey, The Student Conduct Code Doesn’t Say Anything About Two Cousins and An Earnest Mistake
Columns Strong Feelings 

Hey, The Student Conduct Code Doesn’t Say Anything About Two Cousins and An Earnest Mistake

Benny and the Sharks
Columns Comics 

Benny and the Sharks

Pottermore Quiz: Which Wrinkle on Dobby’s Face Are You?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Pottermore Quiz: Which Wrinkle on Dobby’s Face Are You?

God’s Writers’ Room Running Out of Ideas
Columns Comics 

God’s Writers’ Room Running Out of Ideas

Turkey Roasts Itself
Columns Comics 

Turkey Roasts Itself

Tweets for Twerps

My Tweets

Categories

  • Attention Vortex
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • TWRN
  • Uncategorized
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
  • Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up
  • Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
  • Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
  • Friend’s Kid Fat

Archives

Staff Stuff

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org

Newsletter

Popular Posts

  • Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
    Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
  • Architecture Student Sleeps Eight Hours, Finally Understands Appeal Of Closing Eyes, Not Working
    Architecture Student Sleeps Eight Hours, Finally Understands Appeal Of Closing Eyes, Not Working
  • Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
    Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
  • Student Delays Getting Out of Bed in Hopes that Roommate’s Morning Wood Will Go Away First
    Student Delays Getting Out of Bed in Hopes that Roommate’s Morning Wood Will Go Away First
  • Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
    Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into

Crime Scene

Who did this? Stay tuned to find out!
Copyright © 2018 The Sack of Troy. All rights reserved.