Monday, March 30, 2020
Breaking News:
  • Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person
  • Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
  • Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race
  • New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
  • Supreme Court Rules Gerrymandering Unconstitutional Unless District Shaped Like Penis

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Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person
Local 

Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person

March 5, 2020 Staff 0
Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020 Staff 0
Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race
Politics 

Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race

March 2, 2020 Staff 0
New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
Columns Strong Feelings 

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

February 28, 2020 Staff 0
Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person
Local 

Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person

March 5, 2020 Staff 0
Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020 Staff 0
Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race
Politics 

Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race

March 2, 2020 Staff 0
New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
Columns Strong Feelings 

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

February 28, 2020 Staff 0

Local

Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person
Local 

Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person

March 5, 2020 Staff 0
by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Telling the student to “pick his poison,” a local company offered a prospective
Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020 Staff 0
Carol Folt Praised for Covering Up All the Scandals So Far
Local Politics 

Carol Folt Praised for Covering Up All the Scandals So Far

February 25, 2020 Jonathan Krone 0
Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far
Local Sports 

Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far

December 4, 2019 Jonathan Krone 0
Trendy New Fusion Restaurant Combines Mediterranean Food With Money Laundering Scheme
Local 

Trendy New Fusion Restaurant Combines Mediterranean Food With Money Laundering Scheme

December 3, 2019 Staff 0

News in Brief

Visibly Erect Tommy Trojan Asks to Be Covered in Duct Tape All Year
Local News in Brief Sports 

Visibly Erect Tommy Trojan Asks to Be Covered in Duct Tape All Year

November 26, 2019 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
Last Minute DIY Skeleton Costume!
News in Brief 

Last Minute DIY Skeleton Costume!

November 1, 2019 Melanie Hoffmann 0
Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
News in Brief 

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless

February 11, 2019 Susi Basse 0
Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry
News in Brief 

Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry

November 22, 2018 Sam Kushell 0

Politics

Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race
Politics 

Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race

March 2, 2020 Staff 0
by Gia King Just as things are beginning to heat up in the race for the Democratic nomination, an already-crowded
Supreme Court Rules Gerrymandering Unconstitutional Unless District Shaped Like Penis
Politics 

Supreme Court Rules Gerrymandering Unconstitutional Unless District Shaped Like Penis

February 27, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann 0
Carol Folt Praised for Covering Up All the Scandals So Far
Local Politics 

Carol Folt Praised for Covering Up All the Scandals So Far

February 25, 2020 Jonathan Krone 0
Three Little Pigs Not Allowed to Testify, Big Bad Wolf Acquitted
Politics World 

Three Little Pigs Not Allowed to Testify, Big Bad Wolf Acquitted

February 6, 2020 Seth Woodhouse 0

World

“America’s Got Talent” Cancelled Because We Don’t
World 

“America’s Got Talent” Cancelled Because We Don’t

February 26, 2020 Staff 0
by Staff LOS ANGELES — The hearts of bored mothers everywhere were broken on Monday when NBC announced startling news: the
Three Little Pigs Not Allowed to Testify, Big Bad Wolf Acquitted
Politics World 

Three Little Pigs Not Allowed to Testify, Big Bad Wolf Acquitted

February 6, 2020 Seth Woodhouse 0
All the Memories From Before Mom Died That Are Now Available On Disney+
World 

All the Memories From Before Mom Died That Are Now Available On Disney+

December 5, 2019 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
Heartwarming: Nick and Joe Always Let Kevin Press the Button in the Elevator
World 

Heartwarming: Nick and Joe Always Let Kevin Press the Button in the Elevator

November 5, 2019 Staff 0

Sports

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020 Staff 0
By Finn Kobler Frat registers shut down by police. Q&A screenings with directors who never showed. That one thing Fetti
Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far
Local Sports 

Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far

December 4, 2019 Jonathan Krone 0
Huge Skateboard No Match For Tiny Rock
Local Sports 

Huge Skateboard No Match For Tiny Rock

December 2, 2019 Seth Woodhouse 0
Visibly Erect Tommy Trojan Asks to Be Covered in Duct Tape All Year
Local News in Brief Sports 

Visibly Erect Tommy Trojan Asks to Be Covered in Duct Tape All Year

November 26, 2019 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0

Videos

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!
Videos 

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!

November 17, 2017 Staff 0
Summer 2017 in Review
Videos 

Summer 2017 in Review

August 21, 2017 Hannah Ceselski 0
In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Spring Break 2017 In Review
Videos 

Spring Break 2017 In Review

March 20, 2017 Staff 0
Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus
Videos 

Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus

January 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch 0

Columns

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
Columns Strong Feelings 

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?
Columns Politics Strong Feelings 

OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?

Opinion: Fun Fact Could Have Been Funner
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: Fun Fact Could Have Been Funner

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
Attention Vortex Columns 

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.

Guess What? Dad’s Gonna Live, So Quit Calling Dibs on the Antiques!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Guess What? Dad’s Gonna Live, So Quit Calling Dibs on the Antiques!

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?
Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves
Columns Strong Feelings 

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months
Columns Strong Feelings 

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!

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Recent Posts

  • Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person
  • Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
  • Upstart Candidate Clillary Hinton Joins Democratic Race
  • New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
  • Supreme Court Rules Gerrymandering Unconstitutional Unless District Shaped Like Penis

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