Saturday, August 24, 2019
Breaking News:
  • Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
  • Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament
  • USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home
  • I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
  • Local Man Mows Lawn Like He Doesn’t Have a Second Family

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Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
Local 

Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines

August 22, 2019 Staff 0
Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament
Politics 

Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament

April 26, 2019 Jonathan Krone 0
USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home
Local 

USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home

April 24, 2019 Staff 0
I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
Attention Vortex Columns 

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.

April 23, 2019 Veronica Marks 0
Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
Local 

Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines

August 22, 2019 Staff 0
Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament
Politics 

Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament

April 26, 2019 Jonathan Krone 0
USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home
Local 

USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home

April 24, 2019 Staff 0
I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
Attention Vortex Columns 

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.

April 23, 2019 Veronica Marks 0

Local

Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
Local 

Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines

August 22, 2019 Staff 0
USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home
Local 

USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home

April 24, 2019 Staff 0
Local Man Mows Lawn Like He Doesn’t Have a Second Family
Local 

Local Man Mows Lawn Like He Doesn’t Have a Second Family

April 22, 2019 Amanda Douglas 0
SCA Student Got Into Film to, Just Like, Tell Real Stories About Real People, You Know?
Local 

SCA Student Got Into Film to, Just Like, Tell Real Stories About Real People, You Know?

April 8, 2019 Staff 0
McCarthy RA DNA Test Reveals 50% Bloodhound
Local 

McCarthy RA DNA Test Reveals 50% Bloodhound

March 29, 2019 Staff 0

News in Brief

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
News in Brief 

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless

February 11, 2019 Susi Basse 0
by Susi Basse CHICAGO, IL -- When Alfie Garrett, a homeless Vietnam vet in Chicago, Illinois, woke up this morning
Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry
News in Brief 

Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry

November 22, 2018 Sam Kushell 0
Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut
News in Brief 

Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut

November 12, 2018 Staff 0
National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting
News in Brief 

National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting

November 8, 2018 Staff 0

Politics

Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament
Politics 

Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament

April 26, 2019 Jonathan Krone 0
by Jonathan Krone LONDON, ENGLAND -- Following recent turmoil with the Brexit deal, Theresa May has brought an exciting new
Day 32 of White House Website Just Showing Monkey Holding Wrench
Politics 

Day 32 of White House Website Just Showing Monkey Holding Wrench

January 22, 2019 Staff 0
Mitt Romney Loses Presidential Election
Politics 

Mitt Romney Loses Presidential Election

November 7, 2018 Alex Greenblatt 0
Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life
Politics 

Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life

November 15, 2017 Nolan Jones 0

World

Report: Guys, Elvis JUST Died. Seriously. He Died TODAY.
World 

Report: Guys, Elvis JUST Died. Seriously. He Died TODAY.

April 17, 2019 Joey Rayburn 0
by Joey Rayburn BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA – Elvis Presley, the international superstar best known by his moniker “The King of
Cathol-Icky! Pope Francis Thinks Onoskelis the Fallen Angel of Perversion Is a Monica When She’s Clearly a Chandler!
World 

Cathol-Icky! Pope Francis Thinks Onoskelis the Fallen Angel of Perversion Is a Monica When She’s Clearly a Chandler!

March 22, 2019 Hannah Ceselski 0
Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible
World 

Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible

September 11, 2018 Seth Woodhouse 0
Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
World 

Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base

February 8, 2018 Staff 0

Sports

USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12
Sports 

USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12

February 5, 2019 Staff 0
by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL -- In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann
Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party
Sports 

Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party

February 4, 2019 Joey Rayburn 0
Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched
Sports 

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched

February 6, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football
Sports 

Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football

November 16, 2016 Staff 0

Videos

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!
Videos 

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!

November 17, 2017 Staff 0
Summer 2017 in Review
Videos 

Summer 2017 in Review

August 21, 2017 Hannah Ceselski 0
In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Spring Break 2017 In Review
Videos 

Spring Break 2017 In Review

March 20, 2017 Staff 0
Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus
Videos 

Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus

January 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch 0

Columns

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
Attention Vortex Columns 

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.

Guess What? Dad’s Gonna Live, So Quit Calling Dibs on the Antiques!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Guess What? Dad’s Gonna Live, So Quit Calling Dibs on the Antiques!

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?
Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves
Columns Strong Feelings 

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months
Columns Strong Feelings 

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!

Op-Ed: I Bet I Could Kick Neil Armstrong’s Ass Now That He’s Dead
Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: I Bet I Could Kick Neil Armstrong’s Ass Now That He’s Dead

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’

Opinion: I Miss the Drought
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss the Drought

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Recent Posts

  • Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
  • Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament
  • USC Mental Health Services Hire Therapy Cat For Students Who Miss Being Ignored at Home
  • I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
  • Local Man Mows Lawn Like He Doesn’t Have a Second Family

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  • Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
    Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines
  • Student Delays Getting Out of Bed in Hopes that Roommate’s Morning Wood Will Go Away First
    Student Delays Getting Out of Bed in Hopes that Roommate’s Morning Wood Will Go Away First
  • Salmon-Shorted Bros Swim Hundreds of Miles Upstream, Spawn
    Salmon-Shorted Bros Swim Hundreds of Miles Upstream, Spawn

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