Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Breaking News:
  • “Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
  • USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
  • Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi
  • A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.
  • “We Need to Separate the Art from the Artist” Says Doctor Struggling to Remove Paintbrush Lodged in Painter’s Neck
The Sack Of Troy

The Sack Of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Attention Vortex
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Dear Mom
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Members
“Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
Politics 

“Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy

September 29, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
College USC 

USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia

September 29, 2020 Jack Martino 0
Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi
Local 

Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi

September 28, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.
College Local 

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

September 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
“Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
Politics 

“Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy

September 29, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
College USC 

USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia

September 29, 2020 Jack Martino 0
Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi
Local 

Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi

September 28, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.
College Local 

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

September 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0

Local

Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi
Local 

Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi

September 28, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0

By Drew Thomas-Nathan PASADENA, CA — You’ll never guess who I just saw at Kmart: Jenna’s Mom! By the way,

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.
College Local 

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

September 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
Amazon To Donate Organs From Employees Who Die On The Job
Local 

Amazon To Donate Organs From Employees Who Die On The Job

September 21, 2020 Preston Long 0
San Francisco Instagram Models Praise Eternal Golden Hour
Local 

San Francisco Instagram Models Praise Eternal Golden Hour

September 16, 2020 Jack Martino 0
“Babe, It’s Not What It Looks Like!” Claims Man Doing Exactly What it Looks Like
Local 

“Babe, It’s Not What It Looks Like!” Claims Man Doing Exactly What it Looks Like

September 16, 2020 Rachel Michelman 0

Politics

“Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
Politics 

“Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy

September 29, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0

By Drew Thomas-Nathan WASHINGTON DC — Senate Republicans released a statement of defeat last Friday following a deluge of #resistance

Tucker Carlson Removes Helmet of Hair to Reveal LEGO Head
Entertainment Politics 

Tucker Carlson Removes Helmet of Hair to Reveal LEGO Head

September 24, 2020 Rachel Michelman 0
Florida Man Decides Next Election, Probably
Politics 

Florida Man Decides Next Election, Probably

September 22, 2020 Samhitha Saiba 0
Ilhan Omar Called Out For Blatant Anti-Semitism After Not Going to Cousin Josh’s Bar Mitzvah
Politics 

Ilhan Omar Called Out For Blatant Anti-Semitism After Not Going to Cousin Josh’s Bar Mitzvah

September 17, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0

College

USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
College USC 

USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia

September 29, 2020 Jack Martino 0

By Jack Martino LOS ANGELES, CA – The COVID-19 pandemic has shifted classes at the University of Southern California to

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.
College Local 

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

September 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
Ass-Slapping Cyclist Reveals How the Pandemic Has Destroyed His Small Business
College USC 

Ass-Slapping Cyclist Reveals How the Pandemic Has Destroyed His Small Business

September 23, 2020 Angie Stroud 0
Blackboard Crash Kills 2, Injures 7
College USC 

Blackboard Crash Kills 2, Injures 7

September 21, 2020 Mia Young 0

World

Nintendo to Celebrate Mario’s 35th Anniversary by Blowing Up an Italian Eatery Every Day For 35 Days
World 

Nintendo to Celebrate Mario’s 35th Anniversary by Blowing Up an Italian Eatery Every Day For 35 Days

September 18, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0

By Drew Thomas-Nathan KYOTO, JAPAN — The year 2020 marks the 35th anniversary of the original Super Mario Bros game

Kim Jong-un Goes Into Coma In Order to Weed Out Any Advisors Stupid Enough to Fall For This Again
Politics World 

Kim Jong-un Goes Into Coma In Order to Weed Out Any Advisors Stupid Enough to Fall For This Again

September 10, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
Apple Sales Plummet as Doctors Stay Six Feet Away
World 

Apple Sales Plummet as Doctors Stay Six Feet Away

September 4, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan 0
REPORT:‌ ‌Amelia‌ ‌Earhart‌ ‌Was‌ ‌Actually‌ ‌Just‌ ‌Right‌ ‌Here!‌ ‌In‌ ‌This‌ ‌Big‌ ‌Ol’‌ ‌ Tire!‌
World 

REPORT:‌ ‌Amelia‌ ‌Earhart‌ ‌Was‌ ‌Actually‌ ‌Just‌ ‌Right‌ ‌Here!‌ ‌In‌ ‌This‌ ‌Big‌ ‌Ol’‌ ‌ Tire!‌

August 25, 2020 Finn Kobler 0

Sports

Female Jogger Breaks Personal Record for Most Miles with Van Following
Local Sports 

Female Jogger Breaks Personal Record for Most Miles with Van Following

May 22, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann 0
By Melanie Hoffmann TUCSON, AZ — On Thursday, local Tucson resident Winona Clark passed a personal milestone in her fitness
Local Man Reaches Bottom of Pornhub
Local Sports 

Local Man Reaches Bottom of Pornhub

May 13, 2020 Jonathan Krone 0
Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute
Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020 Finn Kobler 0
Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far
Local Sports 

Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far

December 4, 2019 Jonathan Krone 0

Videos

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!
College USC Videos 

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!

November 17, 2017 Staff 0
Summer 2017 in Review
Videos 

Summer 2017 in Review

August 21, 2017 Hannah Ceselski 0
In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Spring Break 2017 In Review
College Videos 

Spring Break 2017 In Review

March 20, 2017 Staff 0
Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus
Videos 

Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus

January 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch 0

Columns

DEAR MOM: Close the Door!
Columns Dear Mom 

DEAR MOM: Close the Door!

OPINION: Why We Shouldn’t Have Published Mr. Met’s Op-Ed “Let Me Hit Children With a Baseball Bat”
Columns Strong Feelings 

OPINION: Why We Shouldn’t Have Published Mr. Met’s Op-Ed “Let Me Hit Children With a Baseball Bat”

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks
Columns Entertainment Strong Feelings 

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?
Columns Politics Strong Feelings 

OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?

Opinion: Fun Fact Could Have Been Funner
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: Fun Fact Could Have Been Funner

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
Attention Vortex Columns 

I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.

Guess What? Dad’s Gonna Live, So Quit Calling Dibs on the Antiques!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Guess What? Dad’s Gonna Live, So Quit Calling Dibs on the Antiques!

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?
College Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: Is Hecuba Likable Enough?

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves
Columns Strong Feelings 

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?

Social

  • View TheSackOfTroy’s profile on Facebook
  • View SackofTroyUSC’s profile on Twitter
  • View thesackoftroy’s profile on Instagram

Categories

  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • “Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
  • USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
  • Report: Jenna’s Mom Says Hi
  • A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.
  • “We Need to Separate the Art from the Artist” Says Doctor Struggling to Remove Paintbrush Lodged in Painter’s Neck

Archives

Staff Stuff

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org

Newsletter

Popular Posts

  • Troy Camp Nominates Itself As Most Philanthropic Organization On Campus
    Troy Camp Nominates Itself As Most Philanthropic Organization On Campus
  • “Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
    “Rats! Foiled Again!” Announce Senate Republicans Accused of Hypocrisy
  • USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
    USC Student Stuck at Home Jumps in Front of Passing Bike Out of Nostalgia
  • Tucker Carlson Removes Helmet of Hair to Reveal LEGO Head
    Tucker Carlson Removes Helmet of Hair to Reveal LEGO Head
  • Fact-Check: Billie Eilish is Not the “Bad Guy,” or At Least Not as Bad as Jeffrey Epstein
    Fact-Check: Billie Eilish is Not the “Bad Guy,” or At Least Not as Bad as Jeffrey Epstein

Crime Scene

Who did this? Stay tuned to find out!
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
Copyright © 2020 The Sack Of Troy. All wrongs reserved.