Friday, February 15, 2019
Breaking News:
  • Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
  • Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
  • Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
  • Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
  • USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12

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Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
Local 

Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend

February 15, 2019 Joey Rayburn 0
Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
Local 

Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny

February 13, 2019 Jose Cardenas 0
Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
News in Brief 

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless

February 11, 2019 Susi Basse 0
Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
Local 

Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected

February 7, 2019 Eloise Rollins-Fife 0
Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
Local 

Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend

February 15, 2019 Joey Rayburn 0
Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
Local 

Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny

February 13, 2019 Jose Cardenas 0
Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
News in Brief 

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless

February 11, 2019 Susi Basse 0
Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
Local 

Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected

February 7, 2019 Eloise Rollins-Fife 0

Local

Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
Local 

Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend

February 15, 2019 Joey Rayburn 0
by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – Yesterday, couples across the country celebrated their love with flowers, dinners, and meaningful
Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
Local 

Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny

February 13, 2019 Jose Cardenas 0
Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
Local 

Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected

February 7, 2019 Eloise Rollins-Fife 0
USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First
Local 

USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First

January 31, 2019 Staff 0
Best Friend From High School Clearly Lying About Getting Laid in College
Local 

Best Friend From High School Clearly Lying About Getting Laid in College

January 28, 2019 Alex Greenblatt 0

News in Brief

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
News in Brief 

Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless

February 11, 2019 Susi Basse 0
by Susi Basse CHICAGO, IL -- When Alfie Garrett, a homeless Vietnam vet in Chicago, Illinois, woke up this morning
Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry
News in Brief 

Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry

November 22, 2018 Sam Kushell 0
Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut
News in Brief 

Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut

November 12, 2018 Staff 0
National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting
News in Brief 

National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting

November 8, 2018 Staff 0

Politics

Day 32 of White House Website Just Showing Monkey Holding Wrench
Politics 

Day 32 of White House Website Just Showing Monkey Holding Wrench

January 22, 2019 Staff 0
by Ethan Thomson
Mitt Romney Loses Presidential Election
Politics 

Mitt Romney Loses Presidential Election

November 7, 2018 Alex Greenblatt 0
Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life
Politics 

Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life

November 15, 2017 Nolan Jones 0
“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees
Politics 

“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees

March 29, 2017 Staff 0

World

Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible
World 

Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible

September 11, 2018 Seth Woodhouse 0
by Seth Woodhouse Mission Impossible: Fallout became a critical and commercial success due to all of the extreme physical stunts that
Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
World 

Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base

February 8, 2018 Staff 0
Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026
World 

Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026

October 9, 2017 Colin McIsaac 0
New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
World 

New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

September 15, 2017 Staff 0

Sports

USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12
Sports 

USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12

February 5, 2019 Staff 0
by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL -- In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann
Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party
Sports 

Super Bowl Party Could Have Just Been Regular Party

February 4, 2019 Joey Rayburn 0
Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched
Sports 

Veggie Platter at Super Bowl Party Left Untouched

February 6, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football
Sports 

Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football

November 16, 2016 Staff 0

Videos

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!
Videos 

The Sack Totally Roasts UCLA!

November 17, 2017 Staff 0
Summer 2017 in Review
Videos 

Summer 2017 in Review

August 21, 2017 Hannah Ceselski 0
In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 0
Spring Break 2017 In Review
Videos 

Spring Break 2017 In Review

March 20, 2017 Staff 0
Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus
Videos 

Wow! This Tour Guide Said “F**k It” and Decided to Give an Honest Tour of Campus

January 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch 0

Columns

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves
Columns Strong Feelings 

Well, Mom’s Drunk Again, Which Means We Can Wear Her Scarves

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Quiz: Is He Into You or Does He Want to Kill You and Your Siblings To Get His Hands on the Baudelaire Fortune?

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months
Columns Strong Feelings 

Stop Complaining, People! Marvel’s Probably Going to Retcon Stan Lee’s Death in a Couple of Months

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!
Columns Strong Feelings 

Cool! This Bathroom Has a Fold Down Table so I Can Eat My Lunch Without Being Bullied!

Op-Ed: I Bet I Could Kick Neil Armstrong’s Ass Now That He’s Dead
Columns Strong Feelings 

Op-Ed: I Bet I Could Kick Neil Armstrong’s Ass Now That He’s Dead

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’

Opinion: I Miss the Drought
Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss the Drought

Hey, The Student Conduct Code Doesn’t Say Anything About Two Cousins and An Earnest Mistake
Columns Strong Feelings 

Hey, The Student Conduct Code Doesn’t Say Anything About Two Cousins and An Earnest Mistake

Benny and the Sharks
Columns Comics 

Benny and the Sharks

Pottermore Quiz: Which Wrinkle on Dobby’s Face Are You?
Attention Vortex Columns 

Pottermore Quiz: Which Wrinkle on Dobby’s Face Are You?

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  • Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
  • Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
  • Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
  • Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
  • USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12

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  • Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
    Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
  • Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
    Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
  • Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
    Homeless Man With Funny Sign Still Homeless
  • Trump Announces Presidential Pet: Infertile White Tiger Named Maserati
    Trump Announces Presidential Pet: Infertile White Tiger Named Maserati
  • Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
    Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected

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