OASIS Converted To DESERT
By Pablo Rodriguez After many years of shitty stellar technological service to the USC community, OASIS has been shut down.
Local
Politics
McCarthy Residents Encouraged to Report Socialist Peers to Administration
By Alex Choy U.S.S.R.L.G.B.T.Q.I.A, RUSSIA – In order to weed out the commie, leftist, WOKE scum of the Earth students
College
Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
By Noelle Medina UNIVERSITY PARK – These hoes ain’t loyal! Sly, manipulative and greedy fuck Bobby Doubletrouble reportedly registered for
World
Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
By Charlotte Dekle LOS ANGELES — Area man Pat Agonia has just won the Pulitzer Prize for Criticism for restating
Sports
Canada Blames Olympic Hockey Losses on Lack of Wasians
By Jackson Sneeringer MILAN, ITALY — Following an embarrassing defeat by both the USA Olympic Women’s and Men’s hockey teams
