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From the Archives: Top 10 Commandments

September 18, 2023September 17, 2023 Hannah Avrith 82 Views

From the Archives: Top 10 Commandments By Julian Avrith MOUNT SINAI, EGYPT– As the newly enlightened people of Israel and

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News Outlets Admit “We Can’t Keep Up With These Trump Indictments Either”

August 10, 2023August 10, 2023 Bill Rockas 141 Views

By Bill Rockas WASHINGTON, DC – In response to former President Donald Trump’s fourth indictment, all major news outlets announced

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Mitch McConnell Hit By Brain Freeze After Secret Ice Cream Date With President Biden

August 10, 2023August 10, 2023 Joshua Wolk 137 Views

WASHINGTON — Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell suddenly stopped speaking during a Republican news conference on Wednesday on account of

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Talk About a Real Family Man! This Emmy Nominated TV Writer Just Moved Back in With His Parents

July 13, 2023August 10, 2023 Levi Elias 162 Views

LOS ANGELES, CA — Shortly after being nominated for an Emmy in Outstanding Writing For a Comedy Series, this family

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Historians Reveal Oppenheimer’s “No Regrets” Tattoo

July 10, 2023August 10, 2023 Bill Rockas 113 Views

By Bill Rockas PRINCETON, NJ – After a decades-long debate, historians have finally revealed the longstanding secret that J. Robert

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“See, New York Is Just Fucking Better than LA,” Coughs USC New Yorker Through Cloud of Smoke

June 7, 2023June 7, 2023 Sarah Cortina 257 Views

By Sarah Cortina  NEW YORK, NY — The long standing bicoastal argument over which city reigns supreme falls to the

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Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half

May 7, 2023May 2, 2023 Izzy Ster 250 Views

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – Following his insurmountable journey for 18 months, 13 days, and 45 seconds, local

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Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise

May 5, 2023May 5, 2023 Jackson Irvine 314 Views

By Jackson Irvine YOUR LOCAL CHILI’S, USA — This year, Chili’s announced it was going to celebrate Cinco De Mayo

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Construction for USC Infinite Youth Fountain to be Finished Whatever Year You Graduate

May 5, 2023May 2, 2023 Liam Stephenson 245 Views

By Liam Stephenson LOS ANGELES, CA – After complaints about delayed construction of the new School of Dramatic Arts building,

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SCA Senior Secures Unpaid Internship Networking at WGA Picket Line

May 3, 2023May 3, 2023 Chelsea Levy 205 Views

by Chelsea Levy Soon-to-be SCA graduate Claire Elecky finally secured a post-grad, unpaid internship by networking with WGA writers at

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Recent Posts

  • Girl at Party Not Flirting With You, Just Good at Small Talk
  • Dianne Feinstein Officially Old Enough to Run for President
  • Eurocentric Asshole Only Thinks About The Ming Dynasty Every Two Weeks
  • Biden Convinced “Impeachment Inquiry” Newest Ben & Jerry’s Flavor
  • “I Would Never Spank My Child,” Says White Mom Who Walks Her Son On A Dog Leash

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New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

September 15, 2017 Staff No Comment

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