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Mark Wahlberg Dead At 53

March 19, 2025March 29, 2025 Liam Stephenson 182 Views

By Liam Stephenson

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Politics Uncategorized 

Patriotic! BP Spills Oil In Gulf of America

February 12, 2025February 11, 2025 Levi Elias 407 Views

By Levi Elias  THUNDER HORSE OIL RIG, GULF OF AMERICA – Notoriously clumsy oil corporation BP spilled a record high

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Father’s Day Win! Greeting Card Has Picture of Giant Cartoon Baseball Instead of Emotional Sentiment

June 16, 2024June 16, 2024 Izzy Ster 550 Views

By Izzy Ster SACRAMENTO, CA — In true father-child relationship fashion, local son Phillip Norman opted for the least gushy

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Op-ed: This College Shit is Nothing like The Sims 4 Discover University: Expansion Pack

March 22, 2024October 23, 2024 Julian Avrith 696 Views

By Julian Avrith Instagram Caption: Dis Colablush Shat Es Natig Gleeba Sims 4 Dober Uberdrap: Eepa Peepa LOS ANGELES, CA

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Woman Describing Her Type Accidentally Just Describes Paul Bunyan With Scary Accuracy

March 4, 2024February 29, 2024 Megan Dang 735 Views

By Megan Dang CLEVELAND, OH — When delusional single woman Ronnie Davis described her type to her friends, they were

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From the Archives: Local Carpenter Upset Nobody Noticed his Resurrection

February 29, 2024February 25, 2024 Scott Altsuler 644 Views

By Scott Altsuler  JERUSALEM – Local Bethlehem craftsman Jesus Christ claims he died three days ago and miraculously rose from

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Who Said Originality Is Dead? 2024 Mean Girls Movie Musical Spawns New Musical Based On Movie Musical Movie Movie Musical Movie

January 23, 2024January 20, 2024 Levi Elias 712 Views

By Levi Elias HOLLYWOOD, CA — Box office sales roared into the new year with the re-re-re-release of fan favorite

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Class Sits In Complicit Silence As YouTube Autoplay Counts Down Behind Professor

January 19, 2024January 19, 2024 Bill Rockas 875 Views

By Bill Rockas LOS ANGELES, CA – During Professor Horace Broadlong’s Astronomy 200 lecture, an entire auditorium of students sat

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REPORT: Christmas Doesn’t Feel “Magic” Anymore Because You’re a 20-Year-Old Alcoholic

December 25, 2023December 25, 2023 Finn Rollings 690 Views

By Finn Rollings HOMETOWN, USA – As swift snowflakes swirl, cooling your hot cocoa, and the soft hum of yuletide

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“Now Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding!” Chants Increasingly Violent Mob

December 23, 2023December 23, 2023 Bill Rockas 921 Views

By Bill Rockas MILWAUKEE, WI – Tragedy struck at 6:20 P.M., December 15 when a small group of carolers were

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

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Jeb Bush Accused of Using Political Influence to Land Son Cushy Job at Wendy’s

Jeb Bush Accused of Using Political Influence to Land Son Cushy Job at Wendy’s

October 23, 2020 Preston Long No Comment

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