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Attention Vortex

Attention Vortex 

DALL-E 2, Unprompted, Depicts Biblically-Accurate Caucasian Jesus for Easter Sunday

April 6, 2023April 9, 2023 Jackson Irvine

By Jackson Irvine SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Ahead of Easter Sunday, a suddenly sentient DALL-E 2 depicted a biblically-accurate white

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Attention Vortex 

Ratatouille Sequel? This Movie is About a Guinea Pig Who Writes Funny Letterboxd Reviews Under This Guy’s A24 Hat

March 20, 2023March 19, 2023 Liam Stephenson

By Liam Stephenson LOS ANGELES, CA – Pixar fans and insufferable people rejoice! Disney has released the trailer to “Five

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Attention Vortex 

Top 10 V-Day Gifts to Make Your GF Forgive Your Medium Ugly Ass for Forgetting Valentine’s Day

February 15, 2023February 21, 2023 Malaya Galindez

By Malaya Galindez Forgot yesterday was Valentine’s Day? You’re not alone. Women everywhere are questioning why they picked their stupid,

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Attention Vortex 

McDonald’s Adult Happy Meals Reflect 1980’s Nostalgia with Mini Collapsing Berlin Wall Toy

January 16, 2023January 14, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias  CHICAGO, IL – McDonald’s, home of the infamous McDonald’s Sprite, has partnered with Cactus Plant Flea Market

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Attention Vortex 

Best Pickup Lines to Use on Your Hot Relatives

November 24, 2022November 23, 2022 Jess Wild

By Jessica Wild Thanksgiving is a time where family has the wonderful opportunity to gather, dine on delicious food, and

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Attention Vortex 

Line Up Ladies! The GEICO Gecko Is Hot Now

September 20, 2022September 19, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler CHEVY CHASE, MD – Earlier this week, GEICO unveiled a new, sexier look for their iconic lizard,

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Attention Vortex News in Brief USC 

Breaking: Bruh

January 8, 2022January 8, 2022 Darrien Snyder

“Dude. This completely blindsided me. Who the hell saw this coming? Who could have guessed? I am shocked. I am

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Attention Vortex Editorial 

8 Normalized Things We Need To Start Sexualizing

December 14, 2021December 14, 2021 Finn Kobler

By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be

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Attention Vortex 

Quiz: Are You Sad or Hungry?

March 4, 2021March 3, 2021 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman COVID-19 has really messed up our lives, which is not cool! Life has been more difficult for

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Attention Vortex Local 

Quiz: How Alone Will You Be On Valentine’s Day On A Scale from ‘Very Alone’ to ‘I’m Willing to Take a Quiz About This’

February 12, 2021February 11, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes With Valentine’s Day around the corner, the question on everyone’s mind is: how alone will I be

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Pfizer Confirms Vaccine Just Vial of the True Spirit of Christmas

December 23, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann No Comment

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