Main Character Knows Just What to Do
by Sydney Sanchez It’s Thursday night, and Season 2 Episode 3 of your favorite television show is on. You watch Read more
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Smarty Pants First Grader’s Favorite Color “Clear”
by Christine Politte VERMONT AVENUE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL -- While most of Ms. Lori Miller’s first grade students spent Tuesday coloring Read more
Student’s USC Application Just Link to Parent’s IMDB
by Sydney Sanchez UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA– In a shocking breaking news story, the University of Southern California admitted that Read more
Catholic Church Realizes That’s Not What “Women and Children First” Means
by Sydney Sanchez VATICAN CITY– Over the past week, the Catholic Church came to the startling realization that the code Read more
Gogurt Twitter Account Begging for Sweet, Sweet Release of Death
by Veronica Marks Users of Twitter were alarmed on Tuesday when they woke up to posts from the popular yogurt Read more
Mumford and Sons Disband Following Ruthless Custody Battle
by Melanie Hoffmann LONDON, U.K. - Early Thursday morning, fans of British folk rock band Mumford and Sons were concerned Read more
Sack of Troy Official Oscars Predictions
by Hannah Ceselski & Keith Herrmann It's been a busy week here at The Sack, but we finally got it Read more
Local Cuck Celebrated Valentine’s Day Watching Kenny G Rail Girlfriend
by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – Yesterday, couples across the country celebrated their love with flowers, dinners, and meaningful Read more
Art Major Draws Nudes So He Can Be Productive AND Horny
by Jose Cardenas ROSKI -- In a curious case of specialization, sophomore Adam Sava exclusively draws and paints nude figures, Read more
Anime Kid From Middle School Grew Up Just How You Expected
by Eloise Rollins-Fife LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a completely predictable turn of events, social media posts confirmed this weekend Read more