“Why Can’t They Just Protest Peacefully?” Complains Darth Vader
By Drew Thomas-Nathan A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY — Recent violent scuffles with the Rebel Alliance led Dark Lord of Read more
Author: Veronica Marks
White House Panics After Grimes and Elon Musk Name their Baby the Nuclear Launch Codes
By Melanie Hoffmann WASHINGTON, DC — When Tesla CEO Elon Musk and musical artist Claire Boucher (“Grimes”) announced the name Read more
I Slept With Every Cast Member of the Classic 80s Sitcom “Lotta Family” Only to Find Out it Never Existed. Here’s What I Learned.
by Veronica Marks We all treasure the beloved sitcoms of the 1980s. From Full House to Cheers to Lotta Family, Read more
Gogurt Twitter Account Begging for Sweet, Sweet Release of Death
by Veronica Marks Users of Twitter were alarmed on Tuesday when they woke up to posts from the popular yogurt Read more
Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA - This morning, after college junior Matthew Fuller had already done his take-home final, Read more
Scientists Still Unable to Discover Normal Reason Why Straight Dude Would Want to Become Gynecologist
by Veronica Marks PALO ALTO, CA - Despite several years of research, lab work, and brainstorming sessions, the effort led Read more
Girl From High School Still Doing Theatre
by Veronica Marks BOSTON, MA - Despite graduating high school and reaching adulthood, reports have confirmed that Jamie Harrington is Read more
Following Success of “Black Panther,” Industry Greenlights More Movies About Panthers
by Veronica Marks HOLLYWOOD, CA - After Black Panther made $520 million in its first weekend, the film industry took Read more
Report: Jessica Is, Like, Sooooo Drunk
by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA - In a study confirmed by experts, researchers, and eyewitnesses, Jessica, a 19-year-old sophomore Read more
Sorority Gives Diversity Bid to Girl With Glasses
by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA - In a shocking move that will shake up the entire Greek system, sorority Read more