Measles, Polio Assure Sobbing COVID-19 That a Vaccine Doesn’t Mean Extinction

By Drew Thomas-Nathan WESTWOOD, CA — A vaccine for COVID-19 is finally here and just starting to be distributed. Sensing

Santa’s Elves Classified As Independent Contractors For Tax Reasons

By Adam Sanderson NORTH POLE – On December 25th, a new law allowing Santa-Co. LLC to refuse employee benefits from

By Melanie Hoffmann NEW YORK, NY – In a bombshell news conference, Pfizer spokesperson Malia Wexler confirmed that their coronavirus

By Maggie Bowen DETROIT, MI – As Moderna and Pfzier rush to ship out their vaccines, the CDC laid out

By Drew Thomas-Nathan The Sack of Troy’s most brilliant and dedicated in-house sociologists have discovered that every human being’s sex

By Alexandra Ornes WASHINGTON D.C. – On Saturday scientists announced erectile dysfunction could be a long-term side effect of Coronavirus,

by Emily Torp HOUSTON, TX — World-renowned Developmental Psychologist Jerome Richardson, with the Texas Children’s Hospital, has found that “young

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION –Deep in the mountains of [redacted], a multi-ethnic, queer-platonic group of buddies is stuck in a bunker, and

By Thomas Johnston

By Alexandra Ornes CAMBRIDGE, MA ― Researchers at MIT have discovered a new hotbed for the COVID-19 virus: gamer girl