“Something Ain’t Right,” Says Man Stopping to Hear the Leaves Rustle
By Drew Thomas-Nathan BUMFUCK, WY — It was a sunny, hazy afternoon when a red Ford pickup truck pulled over Read more
World
Morning Mom Report: Your Cousin Tommy Is Engaged
By Charlotte Phillipp According to a phone call by Mom this morning, your cousin Tommy Jankowski, 31, proposed to his Read more
Study Finds Students Retain Information Better If They Hand-Write It Instead Of Typing The Phrase ‘Snail-Penis’ Until The End Of The Lecture
By Finn Kobler The Pew Research Center recently released a bold claim that’s been impacting colleges across the country: students Read more
Woman Fishing for Compliments Accidentally Catches Big, Gross Halibut
By Amanda Douglas SAN FRANCISCO, CA — California native Olive Hayes was fishing for compliments at friend Angie Clark’s engagement Read more
Report: Guys, Elvis JUST Died. Seriously. He Died TODAY.
by Joey Rayburn BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA – Elvis Presley, the international superstar best known by his moniker “The King of Read more
Cathol-Icky! Pope Francis Thinks Onoskelis the Fallen Angel of Perversion Is a Monica When She’s Clearly a Chandler!
by Finn Kobler VATICAN CITY - Last Wednesday, fans of 1994 hit show “Friends” and 594 B.C.E hit book “The Read more
Tom Cruise Set to Just Fall to His Death in Next Mission Impossible
by Seth Woodhouse Mission Impossible: Fallout became a critical and commercial success due to all of the extreme physical stunts that Read more
Scientists Finally Agree On What Constitutes Third Base
by Emily Halaka NEW YORK CITY, NY - For centuries, scientists, philosophers, and teenagers have ferociously debated what, exactly, constitutes Read more
Climate Scientists Warn All Video Games Will Include Shitty Underwater Levels by 2026
by Colin McIsaac LOS ANGELES, CA — A team of scientists gathered at the University of Southern California on Tuesday Read more
New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
by Colin Mullins HARVARD, CONN. -- After less than a minute of analysis, researchers have concluded that three “alt-rights” do Read more