CDC Suggests Deterring Delta, Beta Variants by Asking Them to Name Five Brothers
By Sarah Cortina “Frat houses…” by techbint is licensed under CC BY 2.0
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Area Man Definitely Not Compensating for Anything
By Alexandra Ornes “Blue Origin New Shepard NS-10 Ignition” by NASA Flight Opportunities is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0 Modified from Creative Commons
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World Crisis Makes Ex Boyfriend Not Seem So Bad Right Now
By Angie Stroud LOS ANGELES, CA – There’s something in the air for local woman Paige Wilson. No not love,
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Queen Finally Defeats Zombie Prince Phillip
By Alexandra Ornes LONDON, UK – After years of battle, on Friday morning the Queen finally defeated the Zombie form
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Whale Found Dead off the Coast of Italy Actually Just a Large Seafood Calzone
By Emily Torp NAPLES, ITALY — After initially reporting they found an enormous whale carcass off the southern coast, the
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Study Finds Small Doses of 5G Promote Super Powers Like Telekinesis and Jumping Really High and Stuff
By Hannah Ryan LOS ANGELES, CA–– A recent report by the World Health Organization on the effects of 5G on
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CEO Of Racism Steps Down Amid Rumors Of Tolerant Remarks
By Staff MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA – Following several weeks of rumors and allegations that he’s been “getting soft” and fails to
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Measles, Polio Assure Sobbing COVID-19 That a Vaccine Doesn’t Mean Extinction
By Drew Thomas-Nathan WESTWOOD, CA — A vaccine for COVID-19 is finally here and just starting to be distributed. Sensing
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Santa’s Elves Classified As Independent Contractors For Tax Reasons
By Adam Sanderson NORTH POLE – On December 25th, a new law allowing Santa-Co. LLC to refuse employee benefits from
Read morePfizer Confirms Vaccine Just Vial of the True Spirit of Christmas
By Melanie Hoffmann NEW YORK, NY – In a bombshell news conference, Pfizer spokesperson Malia Wexler confirmed that their coronavirus
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