Breaking News:
  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

News in Brief

Editorial News in Brief 

I Pretended To Look Confused At The Timothee Chalamet Lookalike Competition Because #needthat

October 29, 2024October 31, 2024 Noelle Medina

By Noelle Medina NEW YORK, NY – As a woman desperately searching for a scrawny dog boy who looks like

Read more
News in Brief Politics 

Alec Baldwin Attends Trump Rally

July 13, 2024July 14, 2024 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias BUTLER, PA – After the dismissal of Alec Baldwin’s dramatic and highly publicized manslaughter trial in the

Read more
News in Brief 

In Flight Safety Announcement Suddenly Really Interesting

April 12, 2024April 11, 2024 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker DALLAS, TX –  After yet another catastrophic Boeing safety incident on a Southwest flight from Denver, airline

Read more
News in Brief 

BREAKING: Somewhere, A Bunch of Nerd Technicians Just Stood Up In Their Little Control Room and Cheered!

February 5, 2024February 5, 2025 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas MERRIT ISLAND, FL – Following the successful landing of Odysseus on The Moon, all the cute little

Read more
News in Brief 

Divorced Father Wins Children’s Presence at Thanksgiving With Promises of Underage Drinking

November 26, 2023November 26, 2023 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES, CA – In a stunning victory, divorcee Jason Gantt, 47, successfully convinced his two children,

Read more
News in Brief 

UN Updates Weapons of Mass Destruction List To Include Uno Reverse Card

November 8, 2023November 6, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias NEW YORK CITY, NY — This past week, the United Nations Council on Nuclear Domination and World

Read more
News in Brief 

Top 10 Couples Costumes To Do with Your Bum-Ass Boyfriend

October 30, 2023October 26, 2023 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler Caption: Just wait until after the Instagram post Barbie and Ken (Barbie) After the cultural phenomenon of

Read more
News in Brief 

Dianne Feinstein Officially Old Enough to Run for President

September 30, 2023September 30, 2023 Liam Stephenson

By Liam Stephenson LOS ANGELES, CA – After former California senator Dianne Feinstein passed away at the ripe age of

Read more
News in Brief 

Biden Convinced “Impeachment Inquiry” Newest Ben & Jerry’s Flavor

September 28, 2023September 28, 2023 Finn Rollings

By Finn Rollings Washington D.C. – In a recent White House Press briefing, President Biden erroneously congratulated a partnership between

Read more
News in Brief 

Strike Negotiations Worry Millions That “The Static, Commercials, and Public Domain Songs Show” Will Be Canceled

September 25, 2023September 25, 2023 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas LOS ANGELES, CA – The tentative negotiations for the improvement of the WGA has millions of audience

Read more
  • ← Previous

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Local Girl Catches Covid So She Can Blame Quarantine For Being Lonely On Valentine’s Day

Local Girl Catches Covid So She Can Blame Quarantine For Being Lonely On Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2021 Alexandra Ornes No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.