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USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First

January 31, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern

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College 

Student Graduates Semester Early to Get Jump Start on Unemployment

January 11, 2019June 19, 2020 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – Senior Roger Morris has just finished college an entire semester early, meaning he’s about to

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College Local 

Surplus of Spring Admits to be Housed in Forested Wolf Dens

January 7, 2019January 23, 2021 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan GRIFFITH PARK, CA — Due to a lack of available freshman housing space, some students admitted for

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College 

Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast

December 12, 2018June 19, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – This morning, after college junior Matthew Fuller had already done his take-home final,

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College 

Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter

December 5, 2018June 19, 2020 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn THE ROW – With the beer-stained folding tables tucked away haphazardly and the rent deposit hopefully paid,

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College 

Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into

December 4, 2018July 23, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire The spick n’ span new threads in New North Room 1412 have absolutely no idea what’s coming

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College USC 

Upperclassmen Reminiscing About Café 84 Like it was Fucking Woodstock

November 30, 2018January 23, 2021 Ryan Zubery

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery USC — On Thursday, freshman Marissa Kwon made a grievous mistake when she mentioned the Café 84

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College 

Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate

November 5, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have

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College USC 

Sam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM

October 29, 2018January 23, 2021 Dan Toomey

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie

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College USC 

Pole Everyone Kicks During Football Games Speaks Out About Abuse

October 23, 2018June 19, 2020 Jose Cardenas

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas EXPOSITION BLVD, CA — USC faced a new scandal this week as that one pole everyone kicks

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Recent Posts

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Article Roulette

Tucker Carlson, Don Lemon Resign to Preserve Illicit Whirlwind Romance

Tucker Carlson, Don Lemon Resign to Preserve Illicit Whirlwind Romance

April 24, 2023 Jackson Parker No Comment

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