Local Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person March 5, 2020July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 1706 Views by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Telling the student to “pick his poison,” a local company offered a prospective Read more
Columns Politics Strong Feelings OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World? November 8, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 2131 Views by Keith Herrmann Cursive. Civil War generals. Sexual intercourse. What do these things have in common? The government made sure Read more
Local Politics Tall Guy Could Be Taller November 7, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 2417 Views by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Local tall man Jacob Marzaroli could stand to be a few inches taller, Read more
College USC USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First January 31, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 2803 Views by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern Read more
Local Baby Jesus Sees Shadow, Won’t Be Crucified for Another Four Months December 25, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 3058 Views by Keith Herrmann BETHLEHEM– For the third year in a row, the newborn Jesus Christ has seen his shadow and Read more
College Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate November 5, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 1831 Views by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have Read more
College USC SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks September 27, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 5674 Views by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name Read more
Local Mars Rover Told There Would Be Other Rovers When It Got There September 21, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 3006 Views by Keith Herrmann MARS – A lonesome NASA rover sent to collect evidence of ancient life on Mars was falsely informed that Read more
Local Grocery Bagger Shamefully Returns to Double Life as Actor on Shitty Sitcom September 7, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann 4549 Views by Keith Herrmann BURBANK, CA – Tim Brewer, 34, embarrassedly clocked out of his well-paying gig as a grocery bagger Read more