Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person
by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Telling the student to “pick his poison,” a local company offered a prospective Read more
Author: Keith Herrmann
OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?
by Keith Herrmann Cursive. Civil War generals. Sexual intercourse. What do these things have in common? The government made sure Read more
Tall Guy Could Be Taller
by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Local tall man Jacob Marzaroli could stand to be a few inches taller, Read more
Sack of Troy Official Oscars Predictions
by Hannah Ceselski & Keith Herrmann It's been a busy week here at The Sack, but we finally got it Read more
USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First
by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern Read more
Baby Jesus Sees Shadow, Won’t Be Crucified for Another Four Months
by Keith Herrmann BETHLEHEM– For the third year in a row, the newborn Jesus Christ has seen his shadow and Read more
Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate
by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have Read more
SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks
by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name Read more
Mars Rover Told There Would Be Other Rovers When It Got There
by Keith Herrmann MARS – A lonesome NASA rover sent to collect evidence of ancient life on Mars was falsely informed that Read more
Grocery Bagger Shamefully Returns to Double Life as Actor on Shitty Sitcom
by Keith Herrmann BURBANK, CA – Tim Brewer, 34, embarrassedly clocked out of his well-paying gig as a grocery bagger Read more