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Author: Dan Toomey

College Politics USC 

Sweetness of “Local USC Moms and Dads” Facebook Group Sullied by Custody Fight in Comments Section

November 25, 2019June 19, 2020 Dan Toomey 2507 Views
by Dan Toomey LOS ANGELES, CA — What began as a sparkle of hope amid a semester of despondency was Read more
College Sports 

Student Running to Class Gripping Freshly Printed Essay Like It’s the Goddamn Olympic Torch

October 25, 2019June 19, 2020 Dan Toomey 3973 Views
By Dan Toomey  TROUSEDALE PARKWAY — Students gawked in anticipation and embarrassment on Friday as a heaving, perspiring freshman sprinted Read more
College Politics USC 

Oceana Seafood Files Lawsuit Against USC After School Falsely Told Them People Would Eat There

September 10, 2019January 21, 2021 Dan Toomey 5058 Views
By Dan Toomey Los Angeles, CA – Village newcomer Oceana Seafood became the latest in a long line of accusers Read more
College USC 

Sam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM

October 29, 2018January 23, 2021 Dan Toomey 2513 Views
by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie Read more
College USC 

Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes

April 24, 2018July 23, 2020 Dan Toomey 3889 Views
by Dan Toomey With a shocking change of character, the once-cuddly, beloved EVKitty is now intimidating transfer students for meal Read more
College Entertainment USC 

Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality

April 19, 2018January 21, 2021 Dan Toomey 10201 Views
by Dan Toomey NORRIS THEATER -- CTCS 190 students were thrown into shock on Monday when, in the middle of Read more

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Sororities Employ Barcode Tattoos to Tell Attractive, Blonde Sisters Apart

Sororities Employ Barcode Tattoos to Tell Attractive, Blonde Sisters Apart

October 3, 2016 Staff No Comment

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