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Author: Finn Kobler

Attention Vortex Editorial 

8 Normalized Things We Need To Start Sexualizing

December 14, 2021December 14, 2021 Finn Kobler 2501 Views

By Finn Kobler The last 2 years have been a tumultuous time for everyone politically and personally. Whether it be

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Local 

6 Adorable Gift Ideas For The Anti-Semitic Horse Goblin That Lives In Your Attic

December 22, 2020December 22, 2020 Finn Kobler 937 Views

By Finn Kobler  Ah, Christmas. Everyone’s favorite 3-month-long street fight between Jesus’ most devoted followers, earnestly trying to celebrate his

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World 

REPORT:‌ ‌Amelia‌ ‌Earhart‌ ‌Was‌ ‌Actually‌ ‌Just‌ ‌Right‌ ‌Here!‌ ‌In‌ ‌This‌ ‌Big‌ ‌Ol’‌ ‌ Tire!‌

August 25, 2020January 21, 2021 Finn Kobler 789 Views

By Finn Kobler A BIG OL’ TIRE, ND – For decades, the location of lost pilot Amelia Earhart has remained

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Politics 

Trump Admits He’ll “Probably Resign” After Seeing That Savage Meme You Just Reposted

August 19, 2020August 19, 2020 Finn Kobler 1579 Views

by Finn Kobler  After four years of deflecting, averting, and combatting just about every piece of negative press thrown at

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Columns Dear Mom 

DEAR MOM: Close the Door!

July 17, 2020August 10, 2020 Finn Kobler 1190 Views

by Finn Kobler DEAR SON, Dinner’s downstairs, sweetie! 🙂 Love, Mom DEAR MOM, OHMYGOD CLOSE THE FUCKIN’ DOOR!!!!! HOW MANY

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Local Sports 

Threesome Less Fun After Two People Cancel Last-Minute

March 3, 2020July 23, 2020 Finn Kobler 1902 Views
By Finn Kobler Frat registers shut down by police. Q&A screenings with directors who never showed. That one thing Fetti Read more
Columns Entertainment Strong Feelings 

New Netflix Show With Positive, Nuanced Queer Representation Unfortunately Still Sucks

February 28, 2020July 23, 2020 Finn Kobler 1525 Views
By Finn Kobler After the problematic lesbian fetishism of “Orange is the New Black” and the bisexual erasure of “The Read more
Entertainment 

Progressive Fountains of Wayne Member Liked Stacy’s Mom For Her Personality

November 13, 2018January 21, 2021 Finn Kobler 2398 Views
by Finn Kobler 2000’s one-hit-wonder band Fountains of Wayne is re-circulating the pop stratosphere after drummer Brian Young spoke about Read more
Local 

Local Man Disappointed He Gave Away Good Edibles to Lightweight Trick or Treaters

October 31, 2018July 23, 2020 Finn Kobler 1610 Views
by Finn Kobler FLAGSTAFF, AZ – Outrage percolated around 23-year-old Gabriel Boulton this Halloween after he received multiple complaints from Read more

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  • Student Finally Watches Hentai Without Subtitles After Four Years of Japanese
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