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  • Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise
  • Construction for USC Infinite Youth Fountain to be Finished Whatever Year You Graduate
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Author: Jackson Irvine

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Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise

May 5, 2023May 5, 2023 Jackson Irvine 114 Views

By Jackson Irvine YOUR LOCAL CHILI’S, USA — This year, Chili’s announced it was going to celebrate Cinco De Mayo

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Attention Vortex 

DALL-E 2, Unprompted, Depicts Biblically-Accurate Caucasian Jesus for Easter Sunday

April 6, 2023April 9, 2023 Jackson Irvine 160 Views

By Jackson Irvine SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Ahead of Easter Sunday, a suddenly sentient DALL-E 2 depicted a biblically-accurate white

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College USC 

Flood Damages Thornton, Horny Band Kids Wetter Than Ever Before

February 28, 2023February 28, 2023 Jackson Irvine 120 Views

By Jackson Irvine LOS ANGELES, CA — Following the torrential downpour this past weekend, The Music Complex suffered significant damage,

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College USC 

Opinion: Tandem Lyft Bicycle Doesn’t Look So Bad Now, Does It?

January 30, 2023January 28, 2023 Jackson Irvine 163 Views

By Jackson Irvine LOS ANGELES, CA — Since USC reimplemented the shared Lyft ride system at the beginning of the

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Politics World 

Pelosi Visits Beautiful Chinese Taipei, Bless Our Fearless Leader Xi Jinping

August 2, 2022August 2, 2022 Jackson Irvine 534 Views

By Jackson Irvine CHINESE TAIPEI—The United States Speaker of the House touched down in Chinese Taipei on Tuesday, much to

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Local Sports 

Skateboarder Eats Shit, Contracts E Coli

February 16, 2022February 16, 2022 Jackson Irvine 1100 Views

By Jackson Irvine HOLLYWOOD, CA — Yesterday evening medical professionals were called to the home of 22-year-old, self-described home boy

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Recent Posts

  • Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
  • Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half
  • Chili’s “Cinco De Mayo” Special Just 5 Bowls of Mayonnaise
  • Construction for USC Infinite Youth Fountain to be Finished Whatever Year You Graduate
  • SCA Senior Secures Unpaid Internship Networking at WGA Picket Line

Article Roulette

Alien Spacecraft Discovered in Every USC Fountain

Alien Spacecraft Discovered in Every USC Fountain

April 30, 2014 Staff No Comment

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