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Author: Scott Altsuler

Uncategorized 

From the Archives: Local Carpenter Upset Nobody Noticed his Resurrection

February 29, 2024February 25, 2024 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler  JERUSALEM – Local Bethlehem craftsman Jesus Christ claims he died three days ago and miraculously rose from

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News in Brief 

Top 10 Couples Costumes To Do with Your Bum-Ass Boyfriend

October 30, 2023October 26, 2023 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler Caption: Just wait until after the Instagram post Barbie and Ken (Barbie) After the cultural phenomenon of

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Uncategorized 

Local Man in Open Relationship Surprisingly Gets Laid More than Wife

May 1, 2023May 1, 2023 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler ST. LOUIS, MO – After eight years of marriage, high school sweethearts Nick and Lena Freeman have

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U.S. 

Ozone Increasingly Threatens Clean Energy Companies by Healing

March 1, 2023February 27, 2023 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler BOSTON, MA – After Al Gore invented the environment in 1993, “energy efficient” corporations have spent countless

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Editorial 

Opinion: Jesus is One of Those “Birth Week Girls”

December 23, 2022December 22, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler We all know that one person that takes their birthday and celebrates the whole week, and I

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College 

Top 10 Reasons to Get Into a Relationship in College

November 28, 2022November 27, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler College is a time for making new friends, and it’s always better when those friends come with

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U.S. 

One Amazon: Bezos Launches Project to Burn Rest of Amazon Rainforest

October 17, 2022October 16, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler SEATTLE, WA – Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has launched a new project that promises complete deforestation of

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Attention Vortex 

Line Up Ladies! The GEICO Gecko Is Hot Now

September 20, 2022September 19, 2022 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler CHEVY CHASE, MD – Earlier this week, GEICO unveiled a new, sexier look for their iconic lizard,

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Professor in Midst of Mid-Life Crisis Offers Extra Credit to Anyone Willing to Go to Burning Man With Him

September 8, 2017 Staff No Comment

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