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College Local 

Professor in Midst of Mid-Life Crisis Offers Extra Credit to Anyone Willing to Go to Burning Man With Him

September 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nolan Jones LOS ANGELES — After realizing that he was probably past the halfway point of his insignificant life,

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Local 

Area Woman Can’t Hear Date Over Ticking of Biological Clock

September 6, 2017 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA– No matter how close she leaned in, area woman Martha Pratt couldn’t make out

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Local 

Loft Beds Provide Low-Cost Alternative to Mile-High Club

September 5, 2017 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC Village — Sophomore Jacob Winschel may not have an eighteen thousand horsepower engine, a highly trained

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Local 

Woman with Pockets in Dress Incapable of Talking About Anything Else

September 1, 2017September 1, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Kylie Charney-Harrington Hell-bent on demonstrating the utility of her stylish dress choice, local Laurel Hersey insisted on reminding every

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Local 

White Noise Machine Just Your Friend, Megan

August 31, 2017August 31, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — Sleep is an oft-neglected aspect of college life. Getting 7 to 8 hours is essential,

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Local 

Laundry Day Can’t Justify That Apocalypse of an Outfit

August 28, 2017August 28, 2017 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC — When Curtis McCormick walked into his biology class on Friday sporting a tight, orange shirt with

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College Local 

Aroused Senior Scours Internet for Hot Sexy Job Opportunities

August 25, 2017June 17, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve ELLENDALE STREET – After a long day of lollygagging with his friends, senior Dustin Mazen went home

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Local 

Bottom of Ice Cream Pint Only One With Balls to Tell Desperate Woman “Enough is Enough”

August 24, 2017August 24, 2017 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES, CA — After getting laid off in January, desperate woman Marcia Bell cracked open a

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Local 

Heartwarming! This Teacher Has a Handshake with Each of His Students and They Still Hate His Guts

August 23, 2017August 24, 2017 Hannah Ceselski

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Hannah Ceselski TRUMAN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL – Second grade teacher Kevin Wheeler isn’t like other teachers. He’s a cool teacher.

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College Local 

Friend Seeks Conversational Entry to Talk About Own Summer Without Seeming Like a Dick

August 22, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve CAMPUS CENTER – Logan Fitz had a dope summer. Like, seriously. He traveled, interned at an investment

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  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
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Local Dirtbag So Far From Holiness Village Mormons Beg Her Not to Convert

Local Dirtbag So Far From Holiness Village Mormons Beg Her Not to Convert

October 5, 2022 Lili No Comment

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