Breaking News:
  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Chai Karve

Local 

Insufferable Douche Worth Being Friends With Because He’ll Be Rich Later

January 12, 2018 Chai Karve 4327 Views
by Chai Karve MARSHALL SCHOOL OF BUSINESS -- Local douche Elliot Tufts greeted his friends in the lobby of Fertitta Read more
College USC 

Suspicious Nikias Smells Rat In Board of Trustees

December 13, 2017January 23, 2021 Chai Karve 3168 Views
by Chai Karve USC -- C.L. Max Nikias burst into the wood-paneled room where USC’s governing body, the Board of Read more
Local 

Parents Who Say “Do Whatever Makes You Happy” Rich Enough to Mean It

December 7, 2017 Chai Karve 3888 Views
by Chai Karve REDONDO BEACH, CA -- Lindsay Stauffer’s parents, known to many as Mr. and Mrs. Stauffer, are always Read more
Local 

Aw Sh*t, We’re All Dancing In a Circle Again

November 3, 2017 Chai Karve 2897 Views
by Chai Karve MONTVILLE HILTON BALLROOM -- Last weekend, at Ajay Patel and Meghan Linder’s wedding, it happened again. As Read more
Local 

Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween

October 27, 2017 Chai Karve 7582 Views
by Chai Karve MENLO - Trailblazer, feminist, and feline. These are words that come to mind when describing Felicity, local Read more
Local 

National Weather Service Officially Declares It’s “Hot As Balls”

October 25, 2017 Chai Karve 5261 Views
by Chai Karve LOS ANGELES, CA -- After extensive study, meteorological investigation, and intense debate, the National Weather Service has Read more
Local 

Sound of Own Voice Still Delightful Reports Guy In Discussion

October 17, 2017 Chai Karve 3488 Views
by Chai Karve TAPER HALL -- During a Friday morning discussion for Introduction to Feminist Theory, junior Russ McReynolds reported Read more
Local 

Accident Baby Not Even Cute

October 6, 2017 Chai Karve 3139 Views
by Chai Karve CEDARS SINAI HOSPITAL -- In the delivery ward of a top-flight local hospital, Liz Collins held her Read more
College USC 

Nikias on Tuition Hike: “It’s Nothing Personal, It’s Just Business”

September 22, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve 4163 Views
by Chai Karve USC -- University President C.L. Max Nikias shrugged his shoulders in defense and put down his thick Read more
Local News in Brief 

Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever

September 19, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve 4242 Views
by Chai Karve USC -- We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend Read more
  • ← Previous

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Failure of Canadian Solar Energy Program Attributed to Living in America’s Shadow

April 5, 2016 Michael Espriella No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.