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Local

Local 

Weakest Link Very Enthusiastic About Physical Education Course

September 27, 2017 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers USC — Monday morning, local “weak link” Garrett Carter got up extra early to stretch for his

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Local 

Man Failing Song on Guitar Hero Swears He Can Play It on Real Guitar

September 26, 2017 Jack Hackett

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett CLEVELAND, OH — After failing Foghat’s “Slow Ride” on easy for the fifth time in a row,

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Local 

Woman Takes Husband’s Last Name and Complete Identity

September 25, 2017 Sara Linden

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sara Linden LOS ANGELES, CA — Many leading activists argue that the practice of a woman taking her husband’s

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Entertainment Local 

Bubba Gump Manager Thinks Today’s the Day Tom Hanks Finally Shows Up

September 21, 2017January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn SANTA MONICA, CA – Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurant manager Rickie Goad spent the early hours of

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Local 

Coy Barista Indicates She “Totally Wants It” With Polite, Forced Smile

September 20, 2017April 2, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka LOS ANGELES, CA – A typical morning coffee run got a little hotter this week when local barista

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Local News in Brief 

Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever

September 19, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend

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Local 

Dad At IKEA Tests Furniture With Crisp Knock and Declaration of “It’s Solid”

September 14, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve BURBANK, CA — Local father Gerald Muller roamed the walkways of IKEA with his collegiate daughter Beth

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Local Politics 

Area Man Fiscally Conservative But Socially Awkward

September 13, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA — In a time of deep political division, area man Chase Stuart defies the

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Local 

Empty Nesters Adjust To One Less Disappointment in House

September 12, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kylie Charney-Harrington BELLEVUE, WA — Sunlight streamed through the French doors of Cathy McCormick’s split-level as she padded through

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Local 

“This is My Year,” says Woman Who’s Made Zero Changes

September 11, 2017 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte After a long, relaxing summer, junior Kelsey Holiday returned to campus excited to begin a new chapter

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
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  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

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Carol Folt Finally Locks The Fuck In For Final Semester

Carol Folt Finally Locks The Fuck In For Final Semester

March 12, 2025 Levi Elias No Comment

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