Bottom of Ice Cream Pint Only One With Balls to Tell Desperate Woman “Enough is Enough”

by Kim Rogers

LOS ANGELES, CA — After getting laid off in January, desperate woman Marcia Bell cracked open a 16 oz carton of Ben and Jerry’s “Half Baked.” Barreling through the whole four-serving shebang in a record half hour, Bell scraped her spoon against the bottom, revealing a printed message dropping the hint her friends had been afraid to give her for months: “enough is enough.”

“That empty pint made me take a long look at myself in the mirror, and I didn’t like what I saw,” admitted Bell. “Why did no one tell me I had icing in my hair?”

Following in the footsteps of Dove Chocolate’s motivational message campaign, Ben and Jerry’s took the plunge into clientele-specific notes by printing them on the bottom of their cartons.

“Some of our other fun, printed messages include things like ‘so, it’s come to this,’ ‘S-T-O-P,’ and ‘get off your ass!’” explained B&J’s marketing manager, Tad Lakely.

Bell’s friends have been aware of her downward spiral since her employment options disintegrated three months ago, but weren’t brave enough to sit her down and tell her to get her act together.

“Marcia’s been a wreck since the layoff,” said weak-willed friend Tracy Showers. “She drinks every night, she doesn’t go out, and her pajama bottoms are glued to the couch with Little Caesar’s grease runoff. Thank God that dessert said what I couldn’t.”

Staring into the empty ice cream pint, Bell swore to drag herself out from rock bottom. With a few last licks of the spoon, she tossed the pint into the recycling bin and went to take a much-needed shower.