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College Local 

Nikias Slides Blank Check to Wealthy Alum and Asks Them To “Make Me an Offer I Can’t Refuse”

November 6, 2017January 23, 2021 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn PASADENA, CA – Last night, President Nikias scored another substantial donation from an alum. This time, he

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Local 

Aw Sh*t, We’re All Dancing In a Circle Again

November 3, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MONTVILLE HILTON BALLROOM — Last weekend, at Ajay Patel and Meghan Linder’s wedding, it happened again. As

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College Local USC 

Medieval Peasant Feels Out of Place in USC Village

November 2, 2017June 19, 2020 Jose Cardenas

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas LOS ANGELES, CA — Merek Rolfepayne the Third said he felt out of place in USC Village,

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Local 

Touching Legs With Fellow Uber Pool Passenger Most Intimate Contact Woman Has Had This Year

November 1, 2017 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — When Valerie Mason climbed into her Uber Pool last Thursday night, she was

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Entertainment Local 

Area Captain Jack Sparrow Needs Help With His Makeup

October 30, 2017June 19, 2020 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES– Local Captain Jack Sparrow and area Lucille Ball readied their home Saturday in anticipation of

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Local 

Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween

October 27, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MENLO – Trailblazer, feminist, and feline. These are words that come to mind when describing Felicity, local

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Local 

National Weather Service Officially Declares It’s “Hot As Balls”

October 25, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve LOS ANGELES, CA — After extensive study, meteorological investigation, and intense debate, the National Weather Service has

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College Local 

Freshman Unable to Rush Calls Himself “Gay Little Girl” in the Mirror Every Night to Imagine What Might Have Been

October 24, 2017June 17, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – The University of Southern California decided to defer fraternity rush, effectively stopping new

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Local 

Relationship Reaches Milestone as Woman Forgets Own Creative Ambitions

October 23, 2017October 23, 2017 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers After one year of exclusive dating, Chelsea Sawyer and her boyfriend Marshall Brooks took their relationship to

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Local 

Little Sh*t Thinks Bar Mitzvah Actually Makes Him a Man

October 19, 2017 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan TEMPLE — Puny twelve-year-old Adam Putzberg was seen walking out of synagogue with a new spring in

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Recent Posts

  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

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Good Cousins Not at Thanksgiving This Year

Good Cousins Not at Thanksgiving This Year

November 28, 2019 Charlotte Phillipp No Comment

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