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Local News in Brief 

Bored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows

November 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and

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Local 

Sad Pumpkin on Doorstep Wishes Someone Would Just Put It Out Of Its Misery

November 7, 2017 Sara Linden

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sara Linden CARDINAL GARDENS — This year for Halloween, the residents of apartment 10 carved a pumpkin for their

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College Local 

Nikias Slides Blank Check to Wealthy Alum and Asks Them To “Make Me an Offer I Can’t Refuse”

November 6, 2017January 23, 2021 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn PASADENA, CA – Last night, President Nikias scored another substantial donation from an alum. This time, he

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Local 

Aw Sh*t, We’re All Dancing In a Circle Again

November 3, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MONTVILLE HILTON BALLROOM — Last weekend, at Ajay Patel and Meghan Linder’s wedding, it happened again. As

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College Local USC 

Medieval Peasant Feels Out of Place in USC Village

November 2, 2017June 19, 2020 Jose Cardenas

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas LOS ANGELES, CA — Merek Rolfepayne the Third said he felt out of place in USC Village,

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Local 

Touching Legs With Fellow Uber Pool Passenger Most Intimate Contact Woman Has Had This Year

November 1, 2017 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — When Valerie Mason climbed into her Uber Pool last Thursday night, she was

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Entertainment Local 

Area Captain Jack Sparrow Needs Help With His Makeup

October 30, 2017June 19, 2020 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers LOS ANGELES– Local Captain Jack Sparrow and area Lucille Ball readied their home Saturday in anticipation of

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Local 

Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween

October 27, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MENLO – Trailblazer, feminist, and feline. These are words that come to mind when describing Felicity, local

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Local 

National Weather Service Officially Declares It’s “Hot As Balls”

October 25, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve LOS ANGELES, CA — After extensive study, meteorological investigation, and intense debate, the National Weather Service has

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College Local 

Freshman Unable to Rush Calls Himself “Gay Little Girl” in the Mirror Every Night to Imagine What Might Have Been

October 24, 2017June 17, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – The University of Southern California decided to defer fraternity rush, effectively stopping new

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
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Article Roulette

“Wait, What’d You Say?” Asks Third Friend On Narrow Sidewalk

“Wait, What’d You Say?” Asks Third Friend On Narrow Sidewalk

October 7, 2019 Eloise Rollins-Fife No Comment

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