by Ryan Zubery
BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and shaved the hair around his nipples to resemble eyebrows.
Tracy then lounged about on his couch, gently tracing his fingers across the two hairy tracts he sculpted over his teats. When his wife returned from work, Tracy looked at her and delivered the line he’d waited hours to say: “Hey, my eyes are down here.”
Tracy was last seen shaving off his shameful creation.