Baby Jesus Sees Shadow, Won’t Be Crucified for Another Four Months
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann BETHLEHEM– For the third year in a row, the newborn Jesus Christ has seen his shadow and
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Year: 2018
Take-Home Final Won’t Leave, Wants to Get Breakfast
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – This morning, after college junior Matthew Fuller had already done his take-home final,
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Man Didn’t Realize He Was Offering Sweatshirt as Collateral in Event of Break-Up
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s going to be a chilly winter for one local man whose recent
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Frat Bros Begin Hibernation After Storing Enough Juul Pods and Misogyny for Winter
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn THE ROW – With the beer-stained folding tables tucked away haphazardly and the rent deposit hopefully paid,
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Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire The spick n’ span new threads in New North Room 1412 have absolutely no idea what’s coming
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Friend’s Kid Fat
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — Multiple sources close to the family have confirmed that Thomas Henderson’s son, 10-year-old
Read moreUpperclassmen Reminiscing About Café 84 Like it was Fucking Woodstock
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery USC — On Thursday, freshman Marissa Kwon made a grievous mistake when she mentioned the Café 84
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Son “Positive” His Divorced Dad Getting More Action Than Him
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Seth Woodhouse On Saturday night, college student and notoriously shakey man Tom Davis confirmed his long held suspicions —
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Friendly Reminder Actually Kind of Bitchy
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Amanda Douglas LOS ANGELES, CA – Last week, tenants of Glendale Apartments received an email from their landlord Eli
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Every Day “Turkey Day” For Bowling Larry
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sam Kushell MICHIGAN — For Kalamazoo’s own “Bowling Larry”, every single day since October 29, 1983 has been Turkey
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