Friend’s Kid Fat

by Christine Politte

LOS ANGELES, CA — Multiple sources close to the family have confirmed that Thomas Henderson’s son, 10-year-old Jimmy Henderson, is fat.

“Every time I’m over at Tom’s house, I’m just like, ‘Whoa, that’s one husky child,’ longtime friend Richard Sullivan said of the 100-pound fourth-grader. “I mean, he’s tall, but that doesn’t justify the fact that he can plow through more hot dogs than me in one sitting.”

Thomas Henderson’s friends are struggling to determine if he’s aware that Jimmy’s BMI is squarely in the “obese” category.

“Tom posted a picture of Jimmy in a soccer uniform, so I figured he finally realized,” said Timothy Wu, Henderson’s college roommate. “But then the next picture showed them eating ice cream, so maybe not.”

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, friends confirmed that it’s still better than mutual friend Lyle Ramsey getting his kids into toddler modeling.