Breaking News:
  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Jackson Parker

Local 

Top 8 People You Found Out Were Catholic Yesterday

March 6, 2025March 8, 2025 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker LOS ANGELES, CA  — Yesterday, non-Catholics across the globe came together for their annual tradition of being

Read more
USC 

USC Admin Only Making Bad Decisions Because They Like The News Helicopters

May 1, 2024April 29, 2024 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker LOS ANGELES, CA — USC President Carol Folt has announced the school’s administration has been purposefully creating

Read more
News in Brief 

In Flight Safety Announcement Suddenly Really Interesting

April 12, 2024April 11, 2024 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker DALLAS, TX –  After yet another catastrophic Boeing safety incident on a Southwest flight from Denver, airline

Read more
College 

Holy Shit: Person In Your Class Last Semester Also In Your Class This Semester

January 21, 2024January 21, 2024 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker LOS ANGELES, CA – Sources have confirmed that the guy who just walked into your classroom looks

Read more
Politics 

Sack of Troy’s Picks For George Santos’ Replacement

December 6, 2023December 5, 2023 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker After recently being expelled in an overwhelming 311-114 vote, George Santos’ seat in the House of Representatives

Read more
Local 

Eurocentric Asshole Only Thinks About The Ming Dynasty Every Two Weeks

September 29, 2023September 26, 2023 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker BOSTON, MA – Although he reflects on the Roman Empire’s contributions to society weekly, local Boston College

Read more
News in Brief 

Tucker Carlson, Don Lemon Resign to Preserve Illicit Whirlwind Romance

April 24, 2023April 24, 2023 Jackson Parker

By Jackson Parker NEW YORK, NY – In a statement released on Monday, Fox’s Tucker Carlson and CNN’s Don Lemon

Read more

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Fifth Member of Friend Group “Doesn’t Understand What’s So F*cking Funny”

Fifth Member of Friend Group “Doesn’t Understand What’s So F*cking Funny”

February 6, 2018 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.