Breaking News:
  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

articles

College USC 

Roski Student Gets Job

May 5, 2016June 19, 2020 Chad Lonski 4982 Views articles
by Chad Lonski USC -- Sam Miller, a Roski School of Art and Design student studying Free Spirit Expressionism and Read more
College 

“I Literally Have No Time During Finals,” Reports Comm Student From Disneyland

May 4, 2016June 19, 2020 Katarina Brandt 5432 Views articles
by Katarina Brandt SPACE MOUNTAIN—On Tuesday afternoon, communications major Jessica Gilmore reported from the line of Space Mountain that she Read more
World 

Out of Touch Doctors Without Borders To Merge With Doctors With Barnes & Noble

May 2, 2016January 21, 2021 Michael Savio 3223 Views articles
by Michael Savio THE THIRD WORLD – After months of speculation regarding the company’s possible filing for bankruptcy, the non-governmental Read more
College World 

God Doubles Height of Catholic Center Steeple to Match Height of University Village

April 29, 2016June 19, 2020 Rob Smat 3625 Views articles
by Rob Smat USC -- It’s official, Yahweh has declared a major in architecture. When residents of the north end Read more
College 

Student Can’t Decide If He’ll Intern at Father’s Company or Do Some Volunteer Bullshit This Summer

April 28, 2016June 19, 2020 Mimi Evans 5346 Views articles
by Mimi Evans LOS ANGELES, CA­ — Sophomore Paul Sterry was at Chipotle late Wednesday night in hopes of solidifying Read more
Strong Feelings 

Smart! This Girl Took Birthday Pictures for Her Friends’ Facebook Walls Early This Year!

April 27, 2016 Staff 2758 Views articles
by James Osborne What a genious! Citing the difficulty experienced last year in finding the perfect naturally taken picture to Read more
Politics 

Treasury Makes 3/5ths Compromise, Puts Harriet Tubman on $12 Bill

April 26, 2016January 21, 2021 Thomas Marshall 7855 Views articles
by Thomas Marshall US TREASURY -- A nationwide poll was conducted recently, and abolitionist Harriet Tubman was chosen to be Read more
News in Brief 

Local Man Mildly Miffed by Excessively Long Receipt After Buying One Thing

April 22, 2016September 12, 2016 Jack Hackett 3616 Views articles
by Jack Hackett, Chai Karve, and Tarek Roshdy CVS -- After going through self-checkout, Local man Terry Rivers received an Read more
College Local 

Student Can’t Parallel Park, Parks a Mile Away

April 21, 2016June 19, 2020 Jonathan Yoo 3129 Views articles
by Jonathan Yoo A SPOT FAR, FAR AWAY --  Jonathan Driver was running late to his first day of work Read more
College 

Roommate Worried Refrigerator Notes Not Passive Aggressive Enough

April 20, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff 4851 Views articles
by Jessica Tang USC -- Walking into the kitchen of her apartment, local roommate Jenny Yang reportedly felt worried that Read more
  • ← Previous

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name

9-Year-Old Named Howard Too Young to Have That Name

April 20, 2018 Amanda Douglas No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.