Breaking News:
  • Cocaine Bear Spotted with Emily Ratajkowski
  • Opinion: If Starbucks Doesn’t Start Putting the Vanilla in My Vanilla Soy Latte I’m Going to Start Union Busting
  • Ratatouille Sequel? This Movie is About a Guinea Pig Who Writes Funny Letterboxd Reviews Under This Guy’s A24 Hat
  • Colorblind Dumbass Pinched to Death On St Patrick’s Day
  • The Sack of Troy Oscar’s Predictions

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Thomas Marshall

Entertainment Local 

Every Week is Sweeps Week for NBC Janitor

November 16, 2017January 21, 2021 Thomas Marshall 2710 Views
by Thomas Marshall LOS ANGELES -- While the rest of Hollywood waits all year for that special week known as Read more
Local 

Half Post-it Note Over Laptop Webcam Not Getting Paid Nearly Enough for What it Sees

October 11, 2017October 11, 2017 Thomas Marshall 3047 Views
by Thomas Marshall LOS ANGELES – In today’s economy, it’s hard to find work, and for those lucky few that Read more
College USC 

Couple Living at Parkside and New North Break Up Over Long Distance Relationship

October 27, 2016June 19, 2020 Thomas Marshall 3150 Views
by Thomas Marshall USC -- Freshmen Bea Tran and Dan Algeri began dating shortly after orientation. Algeri lived in New Read more
Columns Strong Feelings 

I Was a Feminist Until I Learned I Couldn’t Sexually Harass My Coworkers

October 6, 2016 Thomas Marshall 2635 Views
by Thomas Marshall I like to think of myself as a progressive. I read the literature, I try to keep Read more
Entertainment Local 

Dad Forced to Bring Loser Daughter to Springsteen Concert

September 2, 2016June 19, 2020 Thomas Marshall 4454 Views

“The other dads are going to think I’m so lame if I have to be there with my buzzkill kid.”

Read more
Local 

Poor Kid Without ‘Pokémon Go’ Just Throwing Rocks At Animals In Park

July 27, 2016July 27, 2016 Thomas Marshall 7591 Views
by Thomas Marshall and Jack Hackett LAKEWOOD PARK -- I was reading in the park the other day, when all Read more
Politics 

Treasury Makes 3/5ths Compromise, Puts Harriet Tubman on $12 Bill

April 26, 2016January 21, 2021 Thomas Marshall 7066 Views articles
by Thomas Marshall US TREASURY -- A nationwide poll was conducted recently, and abolitionist Harriet Tubman was chosen to be Read more
Local 

Lonely Man Excited for Chocolate to Go On Sale February 15

February 15, 2016 Thomas Marshall 2477 Views articles
by Thomas Marshall LOS ANGELES – Local sad man Jack Stanfield spent this past Valentine’s Day eagerly awaiting for unsold Read more
News in Brief 

Failed Alcoholic Becomes Writer

January 27, 2016 Thomas Marshall 2591 Views articles
by Thomas Marshall WRITER’S CAFÉ -- In his younger years, Jack-Francis Jerome was your average, semi-successful alcoholic. He was well Read more
Local 

‘Nose Still Missing’ Reports Baby

January 22, 2016 Thomas Marshall 2813 Views articles
by Thomas Marshall BRENTWOOD, CA -- 2 year old Gabby Higgins reports that her nose, taken yesterday by her visiting Read more
  • ← Previous

Recent Posts

  • Cocaine Bear Spotted with Emily Ratajkowski
  • Opinion: If Starbucks Doesn’t Start Putting the Vanilla in My Vanilla Soy Latte I’m Going to Start Union Busting
  • Ratatouille Sequel? This Movie is About a Guinea Pig Who Writes Funny Letterboxd Reviews Under This Guy’s A24 Hat
  • Colorblind Dumbass Pinched to Death On St Patrick’s Day
  • The Sack of Troy Oscar’s Predictions

Article Roulette

Man Pre-Games Driving

Man Pre-Games Driving

December 15, 2022 Bill Rockas No Comment

Archives

© 2023 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.