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Author: Jack Hackett

Local 

BREAKING: Chocolate Explosion Cake Kills 10

April 16, 2018 Jack Hackett 5129 Views
by Jack Hackett LOS ANGELES, CA -- This week a seemingly delectable dessert took the lives of more innocent foodies. Read more
Local 

Camaro With Autobots Decal Probably Real Transformer

April 13, 2018 Jack Hackett 5240 Views
by Jack Hackett LOS ANGELES, CA -- Local man Spencer Reiss was driving down the 110 last Wednesday when he Read more
Local 

Maple Syrup Bottle Sticky

January 31, 2018 Jack Hackett 3913 Views
by Jack Hackett MACON, GA -- At the Waffle House off of Chambers Rd, local man Cliff Richards went to Read more
Local 

Local Shaman Resurrects Picture on TV by Jiggling HDMI

November 27, 2017 Jack Hackett 3708 Views
by Jack Hackett LOS ANGELES, CA -- While party host Harold Franks and his friends were watching the Rams game Read more
College Columns Strong Feelings 

This Paper Will Practically Write Itself Once I Get the Dweeb In Front of Me to Write It

November 10, 2017June 17, 2020 Jack Hackett 3304 Views
by Jack Hackett TAPER HALL - Today my professor handed out our midterm essay assignment. I scanned over the paper’s Read more
Local 

Man Failing Song on Guitar Hero Swears He Can Play It on Real Guitar

September 26, 2017 Jack Hackett 4395 Views
by Jack Hackett CLEVELAND, OH -- After failing Foghat’s “Slow Ride” on easy for the fifth time in a row, Read more
Videos 

In Memoriam: Locked Up, Dismantled Bikes

May 5, 2017 Jack Hackett 4005 Views
This video is here to remember the lives of those who got us from A to B. We'll remember them Read more
Local 

Bomb Squad Tries Defusing Mom Counting to 3

April 25, 2017 Jack Hackett 6146 Views
by Jack Hackett LITTLE ROCK, AR — The LRPD Bomb Squad was called to a Walmart parking lot Wednesday to Read more
Local 

Area Baseball Fan Wouldn’t Have Swung at That

April 21, 2017 Jack Hackett 2975 Views
by Jack Hackett ANAHEIM, CA — Last night at Mickey’s Pub, area baseball fan Frankie Johnson watched an  Angels player Read more
Entertainment Local 

Texter Distracted by Man Watching Movie

April 14, 2017June 19, 2020 Jack Hackett 3968 Views
by Jack Hackett ATLANTA, GA — As the lights dimmed, local teen Sarah Greenberg settled into her seat at AMC Read more
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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Colorblind Dumbass Pinched to Death On St Patrick’s Day

Colorblind Dumbass Pinched to Death On St Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2023 Bill Rockas No Comment

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