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Local

Local 

5 Signs You Might Be Driving Into Oncoming Traffic

February 9, 2022May 15, 2022 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk 1. WRONG WAY Red, white, and plastered against a blue sky. So patriotic! If you see this

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Local 

Plant Based Restaurant Actually Just Dispensary

February 1, 2022January 31, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina  BOULDER, CO — A popular plant based restaurant on Pearl Street was revealed to be particularly plant

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Local News in Brief USC World 

San Andreas Speaks Out: It Wasn’t Their Fault

February 1, 2022February 1, 2022 Lola Gilmore

By Lola Gilmore LOS ANGELES, CA — In the wake of a minor earthquake that occurred 17 miles southeast of

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College Local 

Cashier Who Told You to Have a Nice Day Didn’t Really Mean It

January 26, 2022January 26, 2022 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA — After you successfully navigate the USC Village Trader Joe’s line, the cashier who

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College Local 

Hungover Philosophy Student Wakes Up As Giant Insect

January 14, 2022January 23, 2022 Staff

By Staff LOS ANGELES, CA — After downing nine natty lites at Lambda Chi Alpha this Sunday, senior philosophy student

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College Local 

Local Frat Boy Finally Gives His Girlfriend The Big O! (Omicron)

January 7, 2022January 7, 2022 Luca Soltero

By Luca Soltero  LOS ANGELES, CA — USC student and Phi Kappa Psi brother Jonothan Bradely has reportedly spread the

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Local 

Man Coming Through Chimney, Homosexuals Unfazed

December 25, 2021December 25, 2021 Adam Sanderson

By Adam Sanderson WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA — SLEEEEIGH!  While some have serious questions about how Santa packs himself into such

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Local 

Goy Boss Alert: This Non-Jewish Person Wished Their Jewish Friend Happy Hanukkah

December 4, 2021December 23, 2021 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA – Groundbreaking social progress was made this holiday season when a non-jewish person wished

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Local 

Progressive Family Relinquishes Wishbone Tradition, Pulls Apart Jessica’s Expired IUD

November 24, 2021November 23, 2021 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina PORTLAND, OR – This Thanksgiving, the Hywitesayviur family decided to rewrite the narrative (no not the discovering

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Local News in Pictures 

Every Day a “No Bone” Day for Local Incel

November 10, 2021November 10, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
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  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Fire Department Commences Unplanned Drill In Birnkrant To Clear TroGro Line

November 21, 2013 Staff No Comment

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