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Author: Alexandra Ornes

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Hecuba a Little Too Turned On While Being Wrapped In Duct Tape

November 18, 2022November 17, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 1001 Views

By Lexa Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s Conquest Week at USC, which also happens to be Hecuba’s favorite time

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News in Brief Politics 

Biden Team Luckily Doesn’t Need To Worry About Long Term Covid

July 21, 2022July 21, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 1393 Views

By Lexa Ornes WASHINGTON, DC — With the news that Biden has been diagnosed with Covid-19, his team told the

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College Local USC 

Girl Who “Really Found Herself” Freshman Year Gets Tattoo To Prove It

May 11, 2022May 11, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 3199 Views

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Maya Blair, a freshman who “really found herself” this year, finally got the

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College USC 

32 Day Bender Not Really a Bender Anymore

April 18, 2022April 17, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 1207 Views

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA — After waking up on a Thursday afternoon, having slept through his 8am, 12pm,

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College Editorial 

Opinion: Why Did I Come To This Euphoria Party If You Won’t Let Me Take Fentanyl?

April 5, 2022April 5, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 2675 Views

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Freshman Taylor Howard was disappointed to discover that despite the epic Euphoria-themed party,

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College USC 

USC Crisis Line Hold Music So Bad It Makes Me Want To Kill Myself

March 23, 2022March 23, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 2081 Views

By Lexa Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA — In a heartwarming turn of events, freshman Felix Kurtzman decided not to jump

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News in Brief USC 

Ghost of Mac Miller Spotted On Campus

February 4, 2022February 4, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 2477 Views

By Alexandra Ornes “It was Mac’s ghost, I’m 100% sure. He was surrounded by a cloud of smoke. Then again

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News in Pictures USC 

Cloth Masks Banned, Quirky Girls Distraught

January 5, 2022January 5, 2022 Alexandra Ornes 1445 Views

“It’s like they’re trying to take away my identity,” said Francesca Ward, Frannie with an ‘ie’ for short. “When the

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Local News in Pictures 

Every Day a “No Bone” Day for Local Incel

November 10, 2021November 10, 2021 Alexandra Ornes 1855 Views

By Alexandra Ornes

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News in Pictures Politics USC 

35% of Graduate Students Prove Grad School Doesn’t Necessarily Make You Smarter

August 5, 2021August 5, 2021 Alexandra Ornes 2018 Views

By Alexandra Ornes Graphics and data belong to The Daily Trojan

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Student Teetering on D- Makes Desperate Sports Banter with Professor

Student Teetering on D- Makes Desperate Sports Banter with Professor

March 7, 2017 Christine Politte No Comment

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