5 Signs You Might Be Driving Into Oncoming Traffic

By Joshua Wolk


Red, white, and plastered against a blue sky. So patriotic! If you see this sign, you should probably get into the other lane or face being steamrolled by an eighteen-wheeler with a MAGA sticker and truck nuts. God bless America!


What a crisp sign. The lighting is less than desirable, but just wait until golden hour. The glow-up will be so immense that she might just attract a talent agent and get the hell out of that Midwestern wasteland. Reaching stardom won’t be easy, but with dedication, grit, and those incredible looks, this sign is on her way to Hollywood! Abolish the suburbs.


This one is decked out! You can’t miss it with that awesome reflector—so flashy! If this sign was a person, he would wear one of those bulky cell phone holsters, but he would own it. He could definitely fix your sink. 

4. The brooding voice in the back of your brain.

It never shuts up, does it? That urge to pull the wheel; just to see what happens. Death will be horribly painful but you deserve it, don’t you? The wind rushes through your hair, you don’t feel it. The road is silent. You only hear “Chopin’s Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2.” You played it as a child, it was never any good. Your piano teacher would slap your wrists with a wooden ruler with every wrong note. You could never do anything right, could you? Nocturnes are inspired by inky nights and soon all you will see is darkness. Poetic. Your teacher would be happy, you’ll be joining her in just a moment. 


Aww, look at this little guy! He might be small but he gets the job done. Short king!

Image sources: LincolnGroup, BPCraddock, Pixabay, NeONBRAND, Stefano Pollio, Tim Mossholder, Unsplash