Every Day a “No Bone” Day for Local Incel
By Alexandra Ornes
- Firing Of Helton Fails, USC Resorts To Bioterrorism To Shift Odds
- Packers to Scout Kyle Rittenhouse for His “Excellent Defense”
Breaking News:
- Leonardo DiCaprio Spotted On Campus Protesting School of Gerontology
- Philosophy Major Tells Grieving Widow What She’s Going Through
- Trump Picks Shakira as Running Mate in 2024 Presidential Campaign
- Sack Advice
- Uh Oh! The Two Little Goblins Who Rub Their Gritty Mitts Together In Order To Generate Enough Power For The USC Wifi Have Died
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
