San Andreas Speaks Out: It Wasn’t Their Fault

By Lola Gilmore

LOS ANGELES, CA — In the wake of a minor earthquake that occurred 17 miles southeast of Los Angeles this morning, the San Andreas Fault, after popping two Adderall, defended itself, claiming “Just because I was given the name doesn’t mean it was my FAULT, I swear! C’mon don’t listen to your stupid seismologist friends babe, l’d never do something like that. Look at me. You KNOW me. The real me.”

“Baja California Earthquake and Aftershock Map” by Kevin Baird