Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Local

Local Sports 

Clear Bag Policy Apparently Doesn’t Apply If Bag is Stuffed With Cocaine

May 27, 2022May 27, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina CHICAGO, IL — Local man Travis Porter was disappointed to find out that Wrigley Field’s clear bag

Read more
College Local 

Student Finally Watches Hentai Without Subtitles After Four Years of Japanese

May 16, 2022August 25, 2024 Lili

By Lili LOS ANGELES, CA –– USC senior Simon Griffin reports that after eight laborious semesters of intensive Japanese courses,

Read more
College Local USC 

Girl Who “Really Found Herself” Freshman Year Gets Tattoo To Prove It

May 11, 2022May 11, 2022 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – Maya Blair, a freshman who “really found herself” this year, finally got the

Read more
College Local USC 

Student Turns McCarthy Dorm Into a BDSM Dungeon Using Command Strips

May 9, 2022August 25, 2024 Lili

By Lili LOS ANGELES, CA –– While conducting a mandatory Health and Safety Inspection in McCarthy Residential College, USC Housing

Read more
Dear Mom Local 

Dear Mom: Let’s Not Watch Lady Bird Together

May 8, 2022May 8, 2022 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA — Things went south this Mother’s Day for local girl Emily Moore when she,

Read more
College Film Bro Friday Local USC 

Film Major Minors in Book

April 22, 2022April 22, 2022 Joshua Wolk

By Joshua Wolk LOS ANGELES, CA — Last Tuesday, film major Elizabeth Wright declared a minor in book. “They say

Read more
Local 

Dehydrated Sorority Girl At Coachella Just Like When Jesus Went 40 Days Without Water

April 16, 2022May 9, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina INDIO, CA — To culminate the most religious experience of the year for those who(se parents) can

Read more
College Local 

New FAFSA Form Simply Asks Question “Do You Ski”

April 11, 2022April 11, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina VAIL, COLORADO — Multiple college seniors were denied collegiate financial aid after answering ‘yes’ on the 2022-2023

Read more
Local 

Head & Shoulders to Release New 3-in-1: Shampoo, Conditioner, Antidepressant

March 25, 2022March 24, 2022 Rachel Michelman

By Rachel Michelman CINCINNATI, OH — At Head & Shoulders headquarters, Chief Head and Director (CHAD) Pete Davids and ambassador

Read more
Local Sports 

Skateboarder Eats Shit, Contracts E Coli

February 16, 2022February 16, 2022 Jackson Irvine

By Jackson Irvine HOLLYWOOD, CA — Yesterday evening medical professionals were called to the home of 22-year-old, self-described home boy

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Swiss Prostitute Sex Neutral

Swiss Prostitute Sex Neutral

October 23, 2022 Sarah Cortina No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.