By Alexandra Ornes
LOS ANGELES, CA – Maya Blair, a freshman who “really found herself” this year, finally got the tattoo that represents her.
“I wanted something unique and elegant that really encapsulated who I became this year,” she said before revealing the infinity symbol tattoo on her wrist. “It was such an enlightening experience. There were nights of true loneliness, but there were also experiences I’ll never forget. Like one night I went and hung out on top of a parking structure with my friends, and it truly opened my eyes to the infinite meaning of life. So I got this tattoo because when people see it, they know I’m the only one who could have it, it’s just so representative of my journey as an individual.”
“Yeah, she spent the whole year getting hammered and doing cocaine,” said her roommate Sophie Binder. “Like, she keeps going on about how she “found herself,” but the only thing she found was herself in the bathroom of every single frat on campus vomiting.”
Blair remembers the year differently though. “I just can’t believe it’s over. So much growth…. Just so much growth” She then took her daily microdose of shrooms. “I just can’t wait until next year. Maybe then I’ll get an ocean themed tattoo that says ‘good vibes’.”