Breaking News:
  • Depressed Groundhog: “Who Cares?”
  • Detachable Shower Head Wasted on Apartment Owned by Man
  • Opinion: Tandem Lyft Bicycle Doesn’t Look So Bad Now, Does It?
  • Study Finds That Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations For Pizza Deliveries
  • “The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo

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Author: Melanie Hoffmann

News in Pictures 

Wow! This Elf on the Shelf Can Tell Exactly When You’re Going to Die (It’s Sooner Than You Think)

December 23, 2021December 23, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann 517 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann Photo by Louise Smith on Unsplash

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College News in Pictures USC 

USC Welcomes Back Covid

August 23, 2021August 23, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann 1422 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann

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Local 

Researchers Find Running Makes You 30% Happier and 50% Less Likely to be Killed by the Guy Chasing You

December 29, 2020December 27, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann 642 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann LOS ANGELES, CA — A new study from the University of Southern California has found that running

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World 

Pfizer Confirms Vaccine Just Vial of the True Spirit of Christmas

December 23, 2020January 23, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann 775 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann NEW YORK, NY – In a bombshell news conference, Pfizer spokesperson Malia Wexler confirmed that their coronavirus

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Local 

Report: This Isn’t Funny Anymore, Guys!

October 28, 2020October 28, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann 817 Views

by Melanie Hoffmann INSIDE A DARK CLOSET –This isn’t funny anymore, guys! It’s been three hours and everyone knows pranks

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Local 

Opinion: If You’re Trying to Scare Me, It’s Not Gonna Work!

October 28, 2020October 28, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann 830 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann CABIN IN THE WOODS – Alright, guys. You can come out now. I know you’re trying to

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Attention Vortex Local 

Quiz: Who’s Out There?

October 28, 2020November 15, 2020 Melanie Hoffmann 867 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann

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Local 

Millenial Woman Holding Out Hope That Trump’s Post Office Interference Delayed Hogwarts Letter

September 2, 2020January 23, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann 966 Views

by Melanie Hoffmann GARDENA, CA – As Postmaster General Louis DeJoy overhauls the United States Postal Service, Americans are suffering

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Entertainment Local 

Clifford the Big Red Dog Admits Steroid Use

August 20, 2020January 21, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann 2328 Views

By Melanie Hoffmann BIRDWELL ISLAND – In a bombshell press conference, Clifford the Big Red Dog tearfully confessed to using

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Politics 

High Schools Mandate Masks to Protect Students from Girls’ Distracting Faces

July 27, 2020March 31, 2021 Melanie Hoffmann 1216 Views

by Melanie Hoffmann OXNARD, CA — During the Oxnard School District’s press conference about reopening schools for the 2020-2021 school

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Recent Posts

  • Depressed Groundhog: “Who Cares?”
  • Detachable Shower Head Wasted on Apartment Owned by Man
  • Opinion: Tandem Lyft Bicycle Doesn’t Look So Bad Now, Does It?
  • Study Finds That Porn Creates Unrealistic Expectations For Pizza Deliveries
  • “The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo

Article Roulette

USC Libraries Announces Slightly Upgraded Leavey 6.0

USC Libraries Announces Slightly Upgraded Leavey 6.0

September 13, 2014 Staff No Comment

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