Breaking News:
  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows
  • McCarthy Residents Encouraged to Report Socialist Peers to Administration
  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

USC

College USC 

USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First

January 31, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern

Read more
College USC 

Upperclassmen Reminiscing About Café 84 Like it was Fucking Woodstock

November 30, 2018January 23, 2021 Ryan Zubery

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery USC — On Thursday, freshman Marissa Kwon made a grievous mistake when she mentioned the Café 84

Read more
College USC 

Sam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM

October 29, 2018January 23, 2021 Dan Toomey

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie

Read more
College USC 

Pole Everyone Kicks During Football Games Speaks Out About Abuse

October 23, 2018June 19, 2020 Jose Cardenas

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas EXPOSITION BLVD, CA — USC faced a new scandal this week as that one pole everyone kicks

Read more
College USC 

SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks

September 27, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name

Read more
College USC 

Board of Trustees Replaces Interim President with New Starbucks

August 29, 2018January 23, 2021 Joey Rayburn

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – After a grueling search to permanently fill the vacant position of President after the resignation

Read more
College USC 

Wow! The Sack of Troy Writing Staff Got Really Hot Over the Summer!

August 20, 2018January 23, 2021 Cameron Wen

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Cameron Wen Formerly a pale bunch of malnourished nerds, the Sack of Troy writing staff has returned from summer

Read more
College USC 

Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes

April 24, 2018July 23, 2020 Dan Toomey

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey With a shocking change of character, the once-cuddly, beloved EVKitty is now intimidating transfer students for meal

Read more
College Entertainment USC 

Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality

April 19, 2018January 21, 2021 Dan Toomey

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey NORRIS THEATER — CTCS 190 students were thrown into shock on Monday when, in the middle of

Read more
College USC 

Suspicious Nikias Smells Rat In Board of Trustees

December 13, 2017January 23, 2021 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — C.L. Max Nikias burst into the wood-paneled room where USC’s governing body, the Board of

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows
  • McCarthy Residents Encouraged to Report Socialist Peers to Administration
  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

Article Roulette

“The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo

“The White Lotus” Creator Mike White Announces Season 3 Will Take Place at the Lorenzo

January 24, 2023 Izzy Ster No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.