USC Athletics Hires Guy Who Was Really Good At Madden NFL 12
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire HERITAGE HALL — In front of a stunned crowd of local journalists, USC Athletic Director Lynn Swann
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USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern
Read moreUpperclassmen Reminiscing About Café 84 Like it was Fucking Woodstock
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery USC — On Thursday, freshman Marissa Kwon made a grievous mistake when she mentioned the Café 84
Read moreSam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie
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Pole Everyone Kicks During Football Games Speaks Out About Abuse
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas EXPOSITION BLVD, CA — USC faced a new scandal this week as that one pole everyone kicks
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SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name
Read moreBoard of Trustees Replaces Interim President with New Starbucks
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – After a grueling search to permanently fill the vacant position of President after the resignation
Read moreWow! The Sack of Troy Writing Staff Got Really Hot Over the Summer!
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Cameron Wen Formerly a pale bunch of malnourished nerds, the Sack of Troy writing staff has returned from summer
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Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey With a shocking change of character, the once-cuddly, beloved EVKitty is now intimidating transfer students for meal
Read moreDr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Dan Toomey NORRIS THEATER — CTCS 190 students were thrown into shock on Monday when, in the middle of
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