Breaking News:
  • Flailing Alumni Account Forced to Post Derrick
  • Elon Musk Becomes First Kajillionaire
  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

College

College 

Business Major Just Doing It for the Money, Concubines

March 14, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff articles

by Axel Hellman MARSHALL SCHOOL OF BUSINESS-  Speaking with reporters about the matter, Junior business major Richie Fitch revealed that

Read more
College USC 

George Takei to Replace Bush as Dean of Price

March 10, 2014June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman articles

by Zoe Haddad and Axel Hellman BOVARD AUDITORIUM—Actor and activist George Takei spoke at Bovard auditorium Friday evening. Takei enchanted

Read more
College USC 

Leavey Library To Offer Student Housing For Next Semester

March 9, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff articles

by Andy Gause Students have jokingly claimed that they ‘live in Leavey Library.’ Next semester, students can make this claim

Read more
College 

Greek Community’s Attempt to Decide Which Frat is ‘the Least Fratty’ Ends in Raucous Pool Party

March 8, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff articles

by Andy Gause The Presidents of USC’s Greek organizations gathered together this weekend to put an end to the question

Read more
College 

Skateboarder Literally Circumnavigates Globe to Avoid Social Activists

March 7, 2014June 19, 2020 Rob Smat articles

by Rob Smat RONALD TUTOR CAMPUS CENTER — “I don’t have the patience for this crap!” yelled Greer Meelson, as

Read more
College USC 

Wednesday Farmers Market Missing, Kale-and-Carrot Chip Levels Reach Dangerous Low

March 6, 2014June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman articles

by Axel Hellman and Esmy Jimenez MCCARTHY QUADRANGLE — Yesterday, USC students who had grown accustomed to buying organic produce

Read more
College World 

Iranian Club President Refuses to Acknowledge Existence of Jewish Fund-rager

March 4, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff articles

by Andy Gause In a recent statement that has shaken the campus party scene, the president of the Iranian club,

Read more
College USC 

President Obama Speaks at Marshall School of Business

March 3, 2014June 19, 2020 Rob Smat articles

by Rob Smat MARSHALL SCHOOL OF BUSINESS — Barack Obama spoke at the Marshall School of Business last night, outlining

Read more
College Entertainment USC 

USC 24 Hour Film Festival Ends In Disaster Following Unfortunate Typo

February 28, 2014January 21, 2021 Rob Smat articles

by Rob Smat LOS ANGELES — Tragedy struck the USC Film Program this past weekend following an unfortunate typo in

Read more
College USC 

USG Vows to Fix Greek Underrepresentation

February 25, 2014June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman articles

by Axel Hellman On Thursday night, Undergraduate Student Government pooh-bahs celebrated the election of their next president and vice president.

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • Flailing Alumni Account Forced to Post Derrick
  • Elon Musk Becomes First Kajillionaire
  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows

Article Roulette

Opinion: I’m One Internship Interview From Giving Up and Moving to a Cabin in the Woods

Opinion: I’m One Internship Interview From Giving Up and Moving to a Cabin in the Woods

February 24, 2025 Quinn Healey No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.