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Author: Axel Hellman

College 

Underpaid Chemistry Lecturers Vote to Un-Ionize

February 3, 2016June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman 3314 Views articles
by Axel Hellman USC -- In a landmark decision, part-time lecturers, adjuncts, and other non-tenure staff at the Dornsife School Read more
College 

Total Nerd Actually Studies for Final

December 9, 2015June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman 3965 Views articles

by Axel Hellman, Cameron Gavinski, and Jack Hackett USC–This morning a complete nerd sat down to begin studying for his

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College 

Triumphant Freshman Adds Another Empty Alcohol Bottle to Windowsill

December 4, 2015June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman 3181 Views articles

by Axel Hellman and Mark Lee NEW NORTH–Matt Kogger, a freshman drinking virtuoso, emptied the last drop of Jack Daniels

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College USC 

To Cut Water Use, USC Promises to Install New Drought-Tolerant Plants Every Three Weeks

November 9, 2015June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman 2666 Views articles

by Axel Hellman USC–As the state has dried up, USC has faced increasing criticism from environmental activists for its lush

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College News in Brief 

Lyon Center Expansion Completed

September 23, 2015June 17, 2020 Axel Hellman 2824 Views

by Axel Hellman Responding to student concerns about overcrowding at the Lyon Center, the University Office of Student Affairs has

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Local 

Salmon-Shorted Bros Swim Hundreds of Miles Upstream, Spawn

August 27, 2015November 27, 2015 Axel Hellman 5416 Views 0 Comment articles, featured

by Axel Hellman During the fall and spring semesters, they congregate in their fraternity houses on the row, and hold

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College USC 

USC to Sell Luxury Car, Yacht Parking on Trousdale

August 25, 2015January 23, 2021 Axel Hellman 2715 Views articles

by Mark Lee and Axel Hellman USC–As part of the university’s $6 billion capital fundraising campaign, President Max C. L.

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College USC 

Senior Sorority Sister Discovers Ralph’s after Almost 4 Years of Living at USC

April 27, 2015January 23, 2021 Axel Hellman 3396 Views articles

by Mark Lee and Axel Hellman Photoshop by Jack Hackett Senior Kenzie Bovard was walking north along Vermont Ave on

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College 

University Urges American Students to Adopt Easy-to-Remember Chinese Nicknames

March 30, 2015January 23, 2021 Axel Hellman 3050 Views articles

by Axel (Nánxìng mèilì – 男性魅力 – “attractive male”) Hellman and Jack (Guànjūn – 冠军 – “champ”) Hackett SCHOOL — USC prides

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College USC 

EVKitty Stages Own Death for Insurance Money

December 6, 2014June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman 3326 Views articles

by Axel Hellman Students last week were aghast to hear news that USC’s beloved mascot EVKitty had been run over

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

Breaking: Party Rock is in the House Tonight

Breaking: Party Rock is in the House Tonight

March 30, 2023 Izzy Ster No Comment

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