Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

College

College Local USC 

Medieval Peasant Feels Out of Place in USC Village

November 2, 2017June 19, 2020 Jose Cardenas

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jose Cardenas LOS ANGELES, CA — Merek Rolfepayne the Third said he felt out of place in USC Village,

Read more
College Local 

Freshman Unable to Rush Calls Himself “Gay Little Girl” in the Mirror Every Night to Imagine What Might Have Been

October 24, 2017June 17, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – The University of Southern California decided to defer fraternity rush, effectively stopping new

Read more
College USC 

USC on Brink of War Between Wheel People and Foot People

October 20, 2017June 19, 2020 Veronica Marks

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA – On first glance, McClintock Avenue seems peaceful and serene. The sun shines on

Read more
College 

Freshman Tells Herself There’s Always Grad School to Get Rejected by Stanford Again

October 18, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BERKELEY, CA — Thinking back to March when she got the thin envelope from her dream school,

Read more
College USC 

Loser Kid Upstaged by His Father at Trojan Family Weekend

October 13, 2017June 19, 2020 Sydney Sanchez

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sydney Sanchez USC— At the Trojan Family Weekend freshman Jacob Kowalski had planned to show his parents the impressive

Read more
College 

Professor Narrowly Diffuses Ticking Time-Bomb of YouTube Autoplay

October 12, 2017June 19, 2020 Quinton Buxton

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Quinton Buxton, Colin McIsaac TAPER HALL — After showing a YouTube video in his lecture, Professor Crispin Wen’s students watched

Read more
College Local 

Residence Hall Quiet Hours Found to Have No Effect on Voices in Student’s Head

October 5, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan PARKSIDE– A recent scientific study concluded that the designated quiet hour periods at the USC residence halls

Read more
College USC 

Weird Horse Girl a Little Too Into Traveler

October 4, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Elise Vondra ROUND LAKE, IL. — Incoming USC freshman Sarah Nando walked through her stable one last time and

Read more
College Local 

Recent Grad Visits IKEA to Live Out Fantasies of Home Ownership

September 29, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BURBANK, CA — On Saturday, recent graduate Taryn Rodriguez spent the day at IKEA, living out the

Read more
College USC 

Nikias Beats Out Another 20 Million Dollar Donation From Billionaire Alum

September 28, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn SAN MARINO, CA – After being shortchanged one too many times, USC president C.L. Max Nikias took

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

OPINION: Why We Shouldn’t Have Published Mr. Met’s Op-Ed “Let Me Hit Children With a Baseball Bat”

OPINION: Why We Shouldn’t Have Published Mr. Met’s Op-Ed “Let Me Hit Children With a Baseball Bat”

June 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.