Breaking News:
  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Year: 2018

Local 

Area Man Fakes Own Death, Successfully Avoids Driving Roommate To Airport

January 19, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka LOS ANGELES, CA – As investigators continued to search for the body of murdered Glendale native Derek

Read more
Local 

Local Man “Could Probably Fix That” Himself

January 18, 2018 Sara Linden

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sara Linden CULVER CITY — Upon realizing that his washing machine was broken, Sal Smith scoffed at his wife’s

Read more
Local 

Woman Stops Talking to Self Due to Dull Conversation

January 17, 2018 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte UNIVERSITY PARK–  After a tumultuous relationship lasting two decades, junior Leah Carpenter made the tough decision to

Read more
College 

Freshmen Move Empty Smirnoff to Trash Like They’re Hiding a Body

January 16, 2018June 19, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan BIRNKRANT RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE — A group of freshmen spent the last several days getting an empty bottle

Read more
Local 

Insufferable Douche Worth Being Friends With Because He’ll Be Rich Later

January 12, 2018 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MARSHALL SCHOOL OF BUSINESS — Local douche Elliot Tufts greeted his friends in the lobby of Fertitta

Read more
College Local 

Washing Roommates’ Dishes Prepares Woman for Future as Unappreciated Housewife

January 11, 2018June 19, 2020 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte TROY HALL — When sophomore Jackie Wallace gets home each evening, a stack of her roommates’ dirty

Read more
Local 

Uncle on Ancestry.com on Brink of Discovering Huge Cover-up in Family History

January 10, 2018 Kim Rogers

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers While filling in his family tree late Thursday night, local uncle Dan Polinski came dangerously close to

Read more
Local 

Local Man Awfully Smug No One Has Any Allegations Against Him

January 9, 2018 Eloise Rollins-Fife

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Eloise Rollins-Fife LOS ANGELES– In the wake of recent allegations of sexual misconduct by high-profile men, local man Jason

Read more
Local 

90% of Weeks Declared “Rough” by Monday Afternoon

January 8, 2018 Christine Politte

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte As the semester begins, increasing numbers of students are struggling to get through the week. In the

Read more
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

Article Roulette

Student Surprised To Find Earth Still Spinning Following UCLA Loss

November 23, 2014 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.