Wednesday, September 17, 2014
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by Tyler Pullen After the football team’s disappointing performance in Boston’s cold weather last Saturday, USC’s athletic department finally decided to ramp up the heat. The impressive new heating infrastructure not only spawns instantly scorching heat and unforeseen levels of... + continue reading
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
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by Morgan Greenwald In an effort to alleviate congestion during the busier hours on campus, the Department of Public Safety (DPS) has put into place a new regulation forcing students to walk not only their bicycles and skateboards, but anything with wheels- including their wheelchairs. At a... + continue reading
Monday, September 15, 2014
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by Grace Carballo LOS ANGELES, CALIF. – After 2 years or something, California’s “megadrought” is finally over. Until recently, microbioclimatologists attributed the drought to a mass of high-pressure air off the coast of the Pacific. Now, however, city officials and... + continue reading
Sunday, September 14, 2014
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by Noah Suárez-Sikes LOS ANGELES– Following a press release promising “exciting new developments” in regards to the admissions process, the USC Admissions Department has revealed that, starting in the fall of 2015, it will be using the dating app Tinder to handle all... + continue reading
Friday, September 12, 2014
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by Staff   Q: How was a group of unaffiliated, vulgar nerds able to collectively steal hundreds of compromising photos off the digitally protected phones of so many celebrities? A: Holy sh*t! Have you seen these pictures?? It’s like I got all my birthday presents for the next 5 years... + continue reading

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Monday, 15/09/14 - 0 comment(s)
by Grace Carballo LOS ANGELES, CALIF. – After 2 years or something, California’s “megadrought” is finally over. Until recently, microbioclimatologists attributed the drought to a mass of high-pressure air off the coast of the Pacific. Now, however, city officials and meteorologists believe that the actual culprit is USC... + continue reading
Tuesday, 02/09/14 - 0 comment(s)
By Joseph Grazier In response to the "disappointingly large amount" of sleep engineering majors have received at USC over the past few years (over 2 hours a night, well above the national average for engineering students), the administration has begun the process of replacing all water fountains located in the Viterbi section of campus... + continue reading
Wednesday, 27/08/14 - 0 comment(s)
by Jack Koppa Shocking USC Administration and students alike, USC alumni today collectively admitted the Trojan Family is a complete fabrication. The backpedaling comes after new evidence called into question the original, widely reported claim of the Trojan Family’s existence.   "We made up a story about career life after USC... + continue reading

News In Brief

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Tuesday, 09/09/14 - 0 comment(s)
by Staff USC's Department of Public Safety, often known as DPS, revealed today the first new uniforms that will be issued to all officers.  The change comes because the previous uniforms... + continue reading

World

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Friday, 12/09/14 - 0 comment(s)
by Staff   Q: How was a group of unaffiliated, vulgar nerds able to collectively steal hundreds of compromising photos off the digitally protected phones of so many celebrities? A: Holy sh*t... + continue reading

Videos

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Tuesday, 29/04/14 - 0 comment(s)
The Sack interviews Dr. Bud Heineken, who is redesigning the notorious AlcoholEdu system to meet the needs of the 21st century university student. + continue reading

Sports

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Wednesday, 17/09/14 - 0 comment(s)
by Tyler Pullen After the football team’s disappointing performance in Boston’s cold weather last Saturday, USC’s athletic department finally decided to ramp up the heat. The... + continue reading