Breaking News:
  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Finn Rollings

Uncategorized 

REPORT: Christmas Doesn’t Feel “Magic” Anymore Because You’re a 20-Year-Old Alcoholic

December 25, 2023December 25, 2023 Finn Rollings 668 Views

By Finn Rollings HOMETOWN, USA – As swift snowflakes swirl, cooling your hot cocoa, and the soft hum of yuletide

Read more
USC 

Finals Week Theater Major Discovers Mysterious Campus Building Labelled “LIBRARY”

December 11, 2023December 11, 2023 Finn Rollings 846 Views

By Finn Rollings LOS ANGELES, CA – A USC School of Dramatic Arts major has made archeological history this finals

Read more
Uncategorized 

Trojan Knights Chest Paint Accidentally Spells Out The Name of The Forbidden One, Summoning His Wretchedness from the Depths

November 15, 2023November 13, 2023 Finn Rollings 809 Views

By Finn Rollings LOS ANGELES, CA – In a scramble of epic proportions, The Trojan Knights, the official hosts of

Read more
Politics 

Opinion: If My Coworkers Had a Vote on Whether They Liked Me or Not, I Would Cry

November 6, 2023November 6, 2023 Finn Rollings 1446 Views

By Finn Rollings WASHINGTON, D.C. — As The Sack of Troy’s Capitol Hill Correspondent and Resident Empath, I just know

Read more
News in Brief 

Biden Convinced “Impeachment Inquiry” Newest Ben & Jerry’s Flavor

September 28, 2023September 28, 2023 Finn Rollings 944 Views

By Finn Rollings Washington D.C. – In a recent White House Press briefing, President Biden erroneously congratulated a partnership between

Read more

Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

A.J. & Big Justice Pay Respects To Tragic Coal Mine Explosion With Five Big Booms

A.J. & Big Justice Pay Respects To Tragic Coal Mine Explosion With Five Big Booms

March 5, 2025 Megan Dang No Comment

Archives

© 2025 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.