By Levi Elias and ChatGPT (But Mostly ChatGPT)
In a move surprising absolutely no one, [INSERT NAME OF PERSON IN POWER] once again demonstrated their complete lack of understanding of basic facts, insulted [INSERT GROUP OF PEOPLE], and made a large public disruption.
During a recent press conference, [NAME] confidently declared the moon is made of cheese, citing “sources” that turned out to be nothing more than a children’s book.
“I’ve always believed that the moon was made of cheese,” [NAME] said with a straight face. “And now I have proof.” Unfortunately for [NAME], their “proof” turned out to be a picture book about a little mouse who goes to the moon and discovers that it’s made of cheese.
“I don’t know how they manage to keep a straight face,” said one exasperated journalist. “It’s like they’re living in a different reality.” This is just the latest in a string of embarrassing gaffes from [NAME], who has previously claimed that the Earth is flat, dinosaurs still exist, and the sky is actually purple. “It’s like they just make stuff up as they go along,” said one anonymous source. “I’m not sure they even know what the truth is anymore.”
Despite their many shortcomings, [name] shows no signs of slowing down. They continue to make bizarre claims, spout nonsensical ideas, and generally make a fool of themselves on a daily basis. “I think they just like the attention,” said another anonymous source.
It remains to be seen what the future holds for [NAME], but one thing is for sure: if they don’t start taking their responsibilities seriously, they may soon find themselves the subject of ridicule and derision for years to come.