Diversity Win! This Surveillance State is Monitored by Big Sister
by Gia King ARSTOTZKA — Move aside, Big Brother, there’s a new metaphorical figurehead for the clear and rapid dissolution
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World
Ghislaine Maxwell Found Alive in Jail Cell
by JT Tomlinson BRADFORD, NH — Accused sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell was found responsive in her jail cell Monday morning,
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Facebook to Ban Deepfakes Unless They’re Mark Zuckerberg’s Face on a Hunky, Muscular Body
By Preston Long MENLO PARK, CA — Facebook joined the fight against disinformation last week when Chief Technical Officer Mike
Read moreGuy Running Stock Market Graph Just Tracing the Track of El Toro at Six Flags Great America
by Melanie Hoffmann WALL STREET — As the novel coronavirus has been wreaking havoc on public life, amusement parks have
Read moreNew Stimulus Bill Will Send “Get Well Soon” Balloon To Every Coronavirus Patient
By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON D.C. – In a sweeping new stimulus bill introduced Monday, Congress announced that every single coronavirus
Read moreJeff Bezos Buys Happiness
By Karan Menon SEATTLE, WA – In a milestone of his already prolific career, tech giant Jeff Bezos has finally
Read moreImpatient Donald Trump Attempts to Schedule Summit with Coronavirus
by JT Tomlinson WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump has officially declared plans to schedule a leadership summit with the
Read moreNation’s Politicians Vow To Talk About Police Reform Until They’re Re-Elected
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a rousing call that they really hope their constituents will hear, the nation’s
Read more“Why Can’t They Just Protest Peacefully?” Complains Darth Vader
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Drew Thomas-Nathan A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY — Recent violent scuffles with the Rebel Alliance led Dark Lord of
Read moreFunny Zoom Background Last Vestige of Abandoned Personality
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone CLEARWATER, MI — Top archaeologists confirmed yesterday that a humorous background on Zoom was the last remaining
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