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Author: Jonathan Krone

News in Brief Politics 

Increasingly Bold Joe Manchin Demands Congress Remove All Vowels from Reconciliation Bill

October 20, 2021October 20, 2021 Jonathan Krone 974 Views

By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON, DC – As negotiations rage on in Congress, an increasingly obstinate Joe Manchin recently demanded that

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Entertainment News in Pictures 

Ellen Taking Time Off to Focus On Bullying Her Family and Friends

May 13, 2021June 12, 2021 Jonathan Krone 601 Views

By Jonathan Krone “Ellen DeGeneres” by ronpaulrevolt2008 is licensed under CC BY 2.0

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Politics 

GOP Finally Addresses Climate Change With New “Virgin In A Volcano Act”

September 7, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone 1040 Views

By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a dramatic shift in GOP rhetoric, Republican leadership has announced that they will

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Editorial Entertainment 

Cancel Culture Gone Too Far? Child Rapist Roman Polanski Hasn’t Won A Golden Globe In Over 9 Years!

August 28, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone 895 Views

By Jonathan Krone PARIS, FRANCE – It’s hard to believe, but it’s been 9 years since Roman Polanski won a

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Politics 

45% of People Who Don’t Vote Super Psyched To Turn Out For Joe Biden

August 24, 2020August 20, 2020 Jonathan Krone 886 Views

By Jonathan Krone UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – In an enthusiasm groundswell never before seen in American politics, the 45%

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College Politics USC 

USC Board Authorizes Spending of Entire Endowment on “Miscellaneous Brick Stuff”

August 21, 2020January 23, 2021 Jonathan Krone 3294 Views

By Jonathan Krone LOS ANGELES, CA — In a move many are calling “extremely fishy,” the Board of Trustees of

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Local 

Parrot Repeats Slurs A Little Too Enthusiastically

August 18, 2020August 15, 2020 Jonathan Krone 1168 Views

By Jonathan Krone RIVERWOOD, FLORIDA — Local animal lover Reggie Whiteman reported today that his parrot Polly was repeating racial

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Politics 

Democrats Close Abortion Clinics Nearby Convention to Make John Kasich Feel More At Home

August 14, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone 922 Views

By Jonathan Krone MILWAUKEE, WI – In anticipation of the Democratic National Convention on August 17th, the DNC shut the

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Politics 

Post Office Starts Offering Bubble Wrap Popping to Make Ends Meet

August 13, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone 1274 Views

By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON DC –  Desperate to balance their budget in the face of being defunded by the Trump

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Politics 

Kamala Harris VP Selection Shores Up Support Among Current Biden Supporters

August 11, 2020January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone 1081 Views

By Jonathan Krone  WILMINGTON, DELAWARE – Following a long Vice Presidential search committee, the selection of Senator Kamala Harris has

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Recent Posts

  • “See, New York Is Just Fucking Better than LA,” Coughs USC New Yorker Through Cloud of Smoke
  • College Graduate Keeps USC ‘23 as Instagram Bio After Realizing They Have No Personality
  • Writer’s Strike Catches Up With Succession Finale As Logan Returns And Lays Waste To Westeros
  • Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
  • Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half

Article Roulette

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

A Group of College Students Knew They Had Chainsaw Hands. They Played Patty Cake Anyways.

September 25, 2020 Drew Thomas-Nathan No Comment

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